I think I need new contacts.
I just stood on my front porch, breathing in the cool country air, and was dumbfounded by a strange light in my woods. It zigzagged through the trees, did a 180 and topsy-turvied straight up before plummeting straight down. This light would be bright one moment, then dimly fade, showing up a few "feet" from its original origin. My heart pounding, I wondered if I was witnessing a real live bona fide UFO.
Just before I texted Bre to tell her of my other-worldly experience, I realized it was a lightening bug.
The other day while cooking, I added cinnamon to the green beans. Again. My old man is getting used to new flavors these days. And now you guys know why my homemade cole slaw made our mouths numb for a week? It's hard to tell what I added to it. (Probably window cleaner instead of vinegar??)
I'm coming to terms with the fact that I'm getting older. It's true what they say. Eyesight goes, hearing goes, memory goes. I don't hear as well anymore either. (A little FYI...I'm deaf in my left ear so it's not really great to begin with, but if my right one goes, I'm screwed.) Case in point:
I had an argument with Brian the other day. I had gotten up from the chair and he said, "Your a__ likes to waddle."
Whipping my head around, I said, "You can bite it. How's THAT for ya?"
"You heard me, Bald Head!"
"What's your freakin' problem, woman?!"
"You used to like this a__! Well, gravity has definitely gotten its claws into you, HAH, let me tell ya!!!"
Slowly he scratched his head then quietly said, "Okay, fair enough, but what's all this got to do with getting me a GLASS of ICE and WATER?"
Let's just say I brought him the tallest, coldest glass of water I could make and I even put a straw in it. He told me to take a sip first then waited ten minutes before he drank it. After he took my vitals.
I walked out of the women's restroom at work the day before yesterday and had forgotten to zip my pants. It wouldn't have been so bad if hadn't forgotten to button them too. NOT TO MENTION that I wore two different kinds of shoes as well. They were both white sneakers, yes, but one was Nike and the other was Adidas. I'll just chalk those incidents up to fatigue. Yeah. That just SOUNDS better.
I'll just work on one problem at a time. First things first. Eye exam!
Before Brian comes home one night and finds me petting a squirrel or a raccoon because they're roughly the same color as my cat.
Goodnight, all. God bless and have a wonderful Wednesday. You are loved.