Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Relaxing in bed tonight after the best day I've had in a long, long time. Three things hard to maintain throughout prep: Confidence. Energy. Competence. Today I finally had all three for once.
Confidence can get rough sometimes when you're constantly reminding yourself you only have 4 weeks to get this right and you better work your hardest because there's a bunch of other girls out there right at your feet. The friends who seemed to be excited for you in the beginning are now starting to drift wayward as your time gets swallowed with your race. It becomes a bit isolating and when isolated you need to figure out how to find self esteem within yourself. Your opinion finally becomes the only one that matters. Once you find your inner voice strong enough to provide yourself with encouraging messages...you can turn yourself into whoever you want to be.
Energy is a blessed thing. Ive found that throughout prep I've really learned to appreciate and accept just what energy IS. It's something that you build for yourself based on your diet, sleep and daily habits. It is not something to be wasted on laziness. There is definitely a difference between having energy and just being lazy. I've learned real quick what the difference is. Comp prep removes the word lazy from your vocabulary. No possible way to succeed if the word still exists for you. You notice the difference between saying you cant do something because you truly just dont feel like it, or you cant do something because you dont have any more fuel to do so. I've learned to appreciate my energy. I've also learned to silently envy the amount of wasted energy that people just throw away. It would be so nice to start off a day with a full tank of gas. Appreciate your rest and relaxation time. It allows you to at least get a full charged battery to operate on. Today my battery felt full. The gas tank pushed me further than I've been in a while. I appreciate every stinkin morsel that goes into my mouth. Even vegetables. They've become super important to me because its what drives my thirst for hunger to be met. Haha... sounds a little dramatic but its true.
Competence has a funny way of stealing from some areas of your life when too focused on another. On top of seeking perfection with prep, you must still remain competent and invested in other areas of your life that are important. Work is tougher than it usually is. It is hard to focus when your focuses and thoughts are miles away...in gym routines and cooking and thoughts of dieting tweaks. Dont lose sight of the importance of utilizing some of your energy for these duties as well. If you're lacking any sort of energy you better start using some mindfulness techniques and practice feeding yourself that "I can do it" attitude. Fake it til you make it. I finally had a great day at work. I had optimism and had some good conversations with a few people. I was able to keep my confidence up and push myself past my limits. My lift was awesome. My posing practice spurred a whole new shiver of confidence that I've yet to feel.
Everything fell together today. One month prior. I've resparked the fire I carried with me for the first 6 weeks. Now it's time to come out with some newly fashioned weapons for tackling part two of this. The last month.. crunch time. It all counts. Dont cheat yourself in any possible way. I'm ready for this. I am oh so ready.