Tuesday, May 29, 2012
I need some help on figuring something out? Or maybe i already know the answer, but i'm looking for confirmation...ya, we'll go with that!
So this weekend i had a friend over at my place Sunday night through last night. I told her i was getting up at 7am to go for a 4 mile walk and then hit the gym. She SAID she wanted to join me - she's the same friend that i work out with once a week on Wednesdays. Well, 7am came and i was out the door on my own. She woke up and tried to start a conversation, but i told her i needed to get this 4 miles in before it was 100 degrees outside. She didn't want to go for the walk so she slept for another hour.
When i came back to my place i asked her if she planned on going to the gym with me. SOOOO...for a woman that knew and had SAID she wanted to work out she failed to bring anything to workout in or her gym shoes. I lent her a sports bra and a pair of shoes - she went in her pjs. It took us almost 40 minutes to get out of the house because she was taking her sweet time.
At the gym we go our separate ways. I went straight for the ST area and she went for the elliptical. She asked me if i was going to warm up - she actually said "it's a good idea to warm up so you don't pull a muscle or anything." she said it in a way that meant i should do a warm up before i ST. I simply said, my 4 mile walk was my warm up. I went on my way. I spent about 40 minutes in the ST area. She was on the elliptical maybe 20-30 minutes. I then jumped on the treadmill for 32 minutes doing my walk/jog intervals. I saw her leave the elliptical and go into the group fitness room. She grabbed a stability ball and laid on the floor and plopped her legs on the ball. I NEVER saw her do a crunch. I think she just laid there like that. Towards the end of my treadmill time i saw her walk to the ST area. I think she did 1 set of reps and then she sat down at a table and waited for me.
As we were walking back to my place she asked me how my workout was. I said it was great and i asked her about hers - again i clearly saw what she did. She said she felt great and that her workout was amazing. REALLY?!
Then we go to lunch. And i'm from Chicago and where i'm from we are honest with those we care about. So i asked her if she really wanted to lose weight. She's 230lbs. She said yes. I told her i didn't believe her and proceeded to discuss why i thought the way i did (i've always been open and honest with friends. It's who i am and they understand it's out of love that i express my concerns). She started to cry and explained how other areas of her life she has no control over (i'm her friend so i knew all of these things). Simply put - i told her she makes excuses for everything. She doesn't put forth effort in most of the things going on in her life. She just lets whatever happens happen and then cries about it later.
Here's the kicker - she proceeded to tell me how she's upset because we wear the same size clothes. She was crying so freaking hard because of it. Remember i'm still around 280lbs so i have 50lbs on her yet we wear the exact same sizes. I had an answer but i did not say anything - the truth is that she doesn't work out so she's flabby. I'm big but i'm solid because i workout and workout hard. The real truth is that the clothes i lend her to wear are extremely tight on her - so she may be lieing about her weight.
She's one of those people that i may need to send to the exit door of our friendship stay. Out of any relationship there is give and take. There are things you take away from it. I see what she can get from me, but when i look at it from my perspective i'm not getting anything. She brings me down. I've had a rough childhood and refuse to ever believe that someone is a product of their environment. You choose if you want to stay in the same kind of crappy atmosphere that you are used to or you do better for yourself. I chose better! She has chosen to let others do the choosing for her. I can only push and help someone for so long. At some point they need to take control of their own lives and do something for themselves.
So, i'm asking...is she just jealous or is she self-loathing?
I'm really not mean, i'm just tired of people's self pity parties when they refuse to do anything to fix the problems in their lives.