Hopefully I can keep motivated to follow this through this time. I have tried and failed so many times on this path to weight loss, I don't want to fail again. I know that if I could just lose the weight then I would be a happier person. There's nothing fun about being the weight that I am, I hate it. There are a lot of people telling me that I won't be able to do it and I'll always be ugly and fat, but I know that I have the skills to get skinny and pretty again someday. I would love for my husband to be able to pick me up and swing me around, I would love to be able to sit on a swing set with my son and not feel the edges of the seat dig into my thighs. I deserve the happiness that would come with being thinner, so dammit I'm gonna make sure I get it.

After all the stuff I have been through in my life, all the trauma and the nightmares, I deserve some happiness and to be proud of who I am, and I'm going to do whatever I can to get there. The only things I have working against me right now is my lack of motivation, my depression, and my low thyroid.

Here's to losing weight!