Monday, May 28, 2012
I have been trying to figure out why for the thirteenth time why I'm stalled. I came up with one answer - what is there to look forward to? With all of this success of getting healthier, what have I gained to look forward to? I realized today that I succeed when there is a big goal to look forward to.
For example, I stared this journey at 160lbs. The first major goal was to get to 150. When I made it, it inspired me to continue! Another example was when I wanted to be able to workout for 30 minutes at a time. I achieved that and then increased the days.
Well, I stayed at 150lbs for a long time but then I broke that plateau when I started doing a jog/walk workout. I managed to get into the low 140's and have been hanging around there.
Ever since I started running though I have encountered many set backs when it comes to my workouts. I have had horrible back pain and knee pain. The knee pain was bad enough to have surgery and yet the pain isn't gone. I have been going to physical therapy for 12 weeks and while I'm progressing with strengthening my knee, I am not getting there very quickly. My back is not getting any better. I still have to be careful with certain workouts. It is very frustrating. My frustration holds me back and keeps me from moving forward.
I am happy about the progress that I've been making with my upper body and I plan to continue that but other than this challenge, I feel like I have nothing BIG to look forward to. Maybe I should start thinking about this in small progression again. I am sitting around 138/140. Maybe I should start focusing on the number 130 and get there. I know that the only person who can make this happen is me and sometimes that is half the problem. I am my own worst enemy. In addition, I do have a binge monster that likes to pop up every once in a while. I do believe that if you eat more sweets or bad fats that it makes you want to eat more sweets and bad fats. I wish I could just stop eating sweets and bad fats all the time. I realize that isn't always realistic but I truly believe that if I could get rid of these foods than I would have something to look forward to.
Sorry for the rant. I just needed to get this off my chest this evening.