So... I've done some thinking about my last post. I'm feeling better. And I have realized that it is worth it. It's worth if for me to be healthy and active.
I found this quote on twitter....
"If you want to become the best #runner you can be, start now. Don't spend the rest of your life wondering if you can do it... "
This is so true and really points to how I approached physical fitness most of my life. I always sat out. I avoided activity as much as possible. I never pushed my self and always said "Oh I could never do that"
Falling into running a couple of years ago was a completely different mindset for me. I have always wanted to be a runner, but never thought that I could. Why I decided to start, I'm not sure. But i was determined. And yeah, my progress has been slow but I'm okay with that. I'm improving. Because I can do it. And this is worth it. I have doubt all the time - I can't go very far, I can't run very fast, I have to stop and take walking breaks, on and on it goes....
Without the doubt I most certainly would be farther than I am today. Doubt has made me stop and not bother more than once.
But determination got me some new shoes.
A few other things that make this SOOO worth it....
It's worth it to know that my daughter sees me running. It's my daughter's bday today. She's turning 8!
She looks at me and says she wants to eat like mommy because mommy is healthy and she wants to be healthy. WOW. It's a compliment and also terrifying. (And I thank goodness I'm not dieting).
She asked me to snuggle with her one night. It was late and past her bedtime. I said "Honey, I have to go for a run. It's really important. I can't stay and snuggle with you." She looked at me and said: "Okay mommy. In the morning I'll give you a sticker for working out today."
She runs around the track at school during recess --- because she found out 4 x around is 1 km. So she's convinced her friends that it's a good thing to run 1 km every day. WOW
I may not have the perfect body and I may still feel awkward in my bathing suit... but it is so worth it to know that I am setting a good example for my kids. Especially my daughter. I feel more capable than I have ever felt in my entire life. This includes - honours in school, getting my CA degree, being a sought after recruit out of university, having this job that pays me really well and is well respected. Being able to say "Yeah, I run" means more to me than anything else I have done in my life. That's pretty heavy.
And.... the icing on the cake or maybe it's the chocolate buttercream in the middle -- knowing that my actions form my daughter's belief that she is capable.
This is so awesome and so worth it.
This is why I do what I do, why I run, go to the gym in the mornings and spend my weekends in kitchen preparing good healthy food.