Saturday, May 26, 2012
Hey. So I haven't forgotten about my weight loss commitment!!! I am still in the game.
I felt myself falling too far away from where I needed to be. I was eating food that I shouldn't and slacking off in my workouts and I was on the road to regaining the 11lbs I lost. So I decided I needed to step back and just figure a way to scale this mountain.
I enjoy junk foods. I am well aware of what things I can and cannot resist. I can resist ice cream and eat sherbet without going overbaord and binge eating. So a pint of sherbet in my freezer is my emergency stash. When I am having a strong craving for sugar and need a dose 5-6 bites of that will put me back on track.
I cannot have cookies, donuts, brownies, cake, cheesecake, pie, mcdonalds, chips.
I have a tough time having some and then not having a ton more.
So I've been going through my personal junk food detox. I'm happy to say that it took longer than I thought, BUT I MADE IT!!! There was the chinese food that I ate WAY too much food. Another day I made a pineapple upside down cake for my partner to take for a potluck. . . we ate nearly the whole thing. So that was a major setback. Then I had to make him a dish of brownies to take to the potluck instead. He told me don't worry about it, and he didnt need a dish, and they are too hot. I knew turned inside out. I was like I don't care what you do with those brownies but you will not leave that in the house!!!!!! I ate 1/3 of a cake yesterday if those brownies stay in this house I'll eat them all!!!!!
Pete took the brownies. :-) lol.
But I've held in there and I think I have gotten out of the cravings. I feel like I can continue without issue. For awhile anyway. I'm trying to get my eating to the point where I only eat desserts like that 2-3times a week and in a responsible manner. But I am not there yet so I need to be careful about what foods that I allow myself to have. and about what is allowed in the house.
:-) I'm just happy I didn't eat the brownies. The cake was fabulous though. I think I will try to find a nice low sugar low fat dessert instead. Because it was all about the pineapple! But I can make an angel food cake topped with fat free or sugar free whipped cream and mix in pinapple and strawberry. Keep my sweet tooth in check and stay on track.
I'm going off "diet" food soon. I think I am ready to start easing myself into the lifestyle that I want to maintain the rest of my life. Diet cheese is okay when I'm weaning myself off previous bad habits. And chicken breast is great but I can't eat that for the rest of my life.
Don't worry, my going to 'regular' eating just means I am going to have spaghetti but I can still strain my meat, use leaner meat, fix my plate with more pasta and spices and less noodles. Eat with veggies. Avoid added butters and sat fats. I'm going to keep eating stuff like oatmeal, and lean meats but I'm opening up my diet to include more stuff that I enjoy. I just plan to up my calorie range and get back to my 5 mile walk/runs and eat in moderation.
Very happy day. The first day in a long time that I've woken up not thinking about junk food that I want. I woke up this morning and thought- I would love a big bowl of oatmeal with strawberries. That is when I knew I could relax. Detox was officially over. I think I still need another week of no junk food in the house before I'm ready to deal with Pete and Lexi wanting desserts. I think I am going to bake things but then open the windows to release the smell. Then cut and wrap serving sizes in plastic (contain the smell) and place in a purple bowl on the fridge. Then I don't have to see it and smell it and I can most likely forget about it until I am asked to bake more. That is the hope anyway. My family has been sticking with me through my detox but I know they are happy that it is over. They can have stuff but they just can't have it in front of me. I just can't lose weight eating that stuff. I'm just not there yet.
I am also excited about my writing. My 1st story- got about 10,000 views in a week. That was a month ago and it is at about 17,600 views. Good for a first story. My 2nd story- at 13,750 views and it has only been posted about 12 hours. I'm really excited. I'm hoping to really increase my fan base so when I publish full length stories for sell I can make some money. If just 50% of those viewers are willing to pay $1.49. . . that could be a $20,000 return on my writing. That means I could make my writing into a full time and make enough money doing it to take care of my family. I wouldnt have to worry about childcare. I wouldn't have to worry about sick days. Or gas money. Or weather (unless it knocks out my power!) I wouldn't have to be concerned about whether or not I could have another child- and if I would have maternity leave. I could do something that I like doing and make enough money to take care of my family.
I'm not trying to be a bestselling author. Or make millions off my writing. But $30,000 a year for a stay at home mother is alot of money. Money to start my daycare. To buy a home. To buy a car. To take care of debts. To save for the future. I could finish my degree and work a full time job just by using my already active imagination. And I love that idea. So. I'm going to continue with my plan. I really want to hit 50,000 with this 2nd story. I'm hoping I can get 100,000 but I think the next posting will have to really step it up. But I'm more than up for the challenge!
To hard work and dedication!