I seem to swing from really happy with the way my body's changing to entirely frustrated and unsatisfied with my lack of progress. Just today, I had a moment looking at my legs and hips in my black stretchy dress pants and thought how slim I looked, how I really look like a "normal", not-overweight person. Then the opposite: after taking some progress photos of my back musculature - I swear it's there somewhere under all that dough - I was almost too disappointed to post them. Maybe they just look better in 3D than they do in a blurry bathroom mirror photo... perhaps that's it. Indeed. When it's scaled down to fit in the window here, you probably won't be able to see the muscles at all.
Well, oh well. Even if the scale isn't budging and the measurements don't seem to be changing either... I'm on the last notch on my black work belt and I keep getting compliments. That's got to be good, right? (So why aren't the measurements changing?!?! Arg.)
I'm feeling like I'm drowning under my to-do list again. I told myself that tonight I'd plan out my meals for the next couple of days. I know that's necessary to get back on track. But I haven't. The whole day's been like that. I tried to do my (already overdue) homework assignment on my lunch break, and ended up spending all afternoon on it (meaning I'll have to do some work on the weekend to even things out), and still didn't finish. I went to class after work, got another homework assignment assigned (that's three on my plate now), and walked home afterward. And according to my armband, walking home doesn't burn as many calories as I wish it would.
My right knee has been bothering me all day - I don't know why, as I didn't do any exercise yesterday and only did yoga the previous day. It's painful just inside the kneecap when I squat or bend down; I noticed it every time I got up and down from a chair today. And I wore runners all day, so it's not the fault of bad shoes. Maybe yesterday's bad shoes, but I wasn't sore yesterday... In any case, I did NOT do P90X Legs & Back tonight, nor P90X Kenpo, nor Amy Dixon's tabata workout. I did a half hour of yoga at about 8pm, had indigestion through the whole thing, and quit when one of my best girlfriends called, having safely arrived home from 6 weeks in Europe. Seriously - I knew better than to work out after dinner, but by 6:30 I didn't think I could do much before needing fuel, so I had scrambled eggs with veggies and a couple of turkey sausages. No carbs. Well, a bit of ketchup. But still. I'm TRYING to ease my way off starch.
There's a cupcake on the counter calling my name though. Seriously, who puts cupcakes on the counter when they're on a diet? I'm ridiculous sometimes.
Wow, I just said I'm on a diet. Isn't this supposed to be a lifestyle?
There's frosting in the fridge, too.
ANYWAY. As per two days ago's blog regarding fat loss techniques (techniques?), I'm trying to spend a little extra time de-stressing daily, and getting enough sleep, and nibbling away at my to-do list. Thank God it's Friday tomorrow, although I've two homework assignments due (and have only started one), plus I owe about two hours to the office thanks to this afternoon. I can't work late tomorrow though, as the prodigal girlfriend wants to come over as soon as I get off work to visit... partly with me, mostly with her cat, who's been stashed in my no-pets-allowed apartment for the last six weeks! (And is currently pestering me for attention!)
So - not a very forward-thinking or useful blog. Kind of reflects how I'm feeling.
Let's sum today up, at least:
Diet: 1874 calories; 39% carb / 25% protein / 36% fat.
Exercise: 35 minutes walking, 30 minutes yoga
Deficit: -228 according to SparkPeople, -564 according to my BodyMedia armband
Struggles: Flubbed my scheduled P90X workout, have a sore knee, lacking motivation. Life is busy, I'm barely treading water on all my commitments / to-do's.
Successes: chose a lower-carb dinner, avoided evening snacks, had a (mostly) healthy food day in general. Did 30 minutes of yoga when I felt like doing nothing. Going to get ready for bed now, at precisely 10pm. Hopefully I'll sleep better than I have been lately. (I bet that tiredness is what's giving me the "wah wahhhh" outlook on things today!)
Hugs, my chickens.
P.S. SUPER excited that Rachele is back. Now where's Martha (Martha Martha)?