Thursday, May 24, 2012
Lately I am realizing that i've been on this road of self destruction for a while now. I am no longer liking the scenerary and Im ready to turn off, but like an old sweater its comfy and secure and hard to give up.
Earlier this week, I had a relatively nonstressfull day but the little things that your powerless over really got to me. There I was on the cell phone telling my husband I am stopping to get some snacks if you want something speak up or forever keep your peace cause I am not sharing.
On the drive there, I came to the realization that I REALLY ment it. I just wanted to walk down the isles searching for something that was going to make me happy. I settled for a pint of strawberries to go on top of the small container of carmel icecream. To make sure I had enough sweets lets throw in a bag of oreo's, just incase I needed them (never did).
REALLY!!!! My brain is going are you nuts? NO don't do it!!! My stomach is going show me the yummy's. My heart remains null and void. Top that with the guilt the next day of I can't believe I ate all that. Vowed to do better and was really doing fairly well till the smell of fresh pizza my huband brought home was unrestable. Not to mention the cake he brought home from his meeting (I didn't want hurt his feelings).
So why am I talking about this? Cause I am telling on myself. I can't break the cycle if I don't acknowledge that it exists. So what changes can i make.
1. Self awareness: I have now loaded the spark program on my smart phone so where ever I am I am always connected. If I am unsure if it is more calories than I want to eat I can check.
2. Checking in more often. I know I did better when i was involved with my teams and did the challenges. Will try and encorporate them into my program more.
3. Remeber that is ok to say NO!!!!
4. Don't beat myself up and move on.
5. ITS MY MOUTH AND I CAN SHUT IT AT ANYTIME.
So where is the exit ramp I am ready to get off this road.