Thursday, May 24, 2012
In early 2006 I thought I was huge and flabby. I'd had surgery in March of 2005 to remove ulcers and re-route my internal plumbing into a Roux-n-y. I quickly went from 305# to 170#. And I thought I was still huge.
Slowly, through time, stress, being out of work for a year, ankle surgeries, and laziness that weight has crept back. But looking back I wish I was at fat as I thought I was then!
I am going to be strong, centered and healthy again! Being back on the wagon for a month is beginning to have results. My size 12 shorts fit, I am walking with only a slight limp, I can feel changes in my belly and the muscles in my legs and rear-end, and each class I am stretching further and reaching more.
I have committed to Bikram Yoga at least two nights a week – more when I can swing it. I am working out my body in a way that is working for me. The heat makes my ankle steadier and stronger and helps my muscles move better. And I am learning so much more in this class. Breathing is key. No matter how rough it feels if you breathe the feeling passes (deep breath in, slow breath out). Everything is transitory, nothing lasts, enjoy it for what it offers – and no, even when it feels like it you won’t die! And I learned the hard way that sometimes worst fears come true, but it’s ok – you won’t die! (I passed out from lack of electrolytes and humiliated myself in class!) And I’m also learning I need to take proper care of my body in order to have a successful class (which is a bigger lesson – when I take care of my body it does better by me!) Recently I put out an intention/prayer for more spirit in my life – I thought I knew where that would come from, but it looks like it’s coming from within, during this class.
I am striving to get back to the gym where they have a rehab treadmill which is easier on my joints and a pool for some non-impact cardio.
I am tracking calories and making each food choice a conscious decision and eating mindfully with the goal being to enjoy each and every bite, rather than eating mindlessly. I do believe in food addiction and know that if I stay away from trigger foods (crackers, chips, candy, etc. – really anything small I can graze/snack on) than I will succeed. I’m not using any diet plan – I do know for me higher protein, lower carb, moderate fat is best – but as my lifestyle choices frequently lead to limited options I am doing the best with what I have, logging it and evaluating each choice as it comes.
No more excuses – the replacement ankle, the stresses of life (mostly work and adult children). I am strong and I am centered!