Wednesday, May 23, 2012
So I am discovering that I am really struggling to behave on the weekends. The issue is exacerbated by the fact that we are usually away from home on the weekends and for us, away from home means at least an hours drive to the nearest civilization. I am always really good about packing healthy snacks for my daughter. She gets almonds, granola bars or trail mix, sliced apples, cheese sticks, turkey or chicken and crackers. But I never pack snacks for the hubs and I. So inevitably, we eat crap. I think it comes from years of road trips=fast food and junk conditioning.
With all these weekends away and misbehaving, I thought I was completely sabotaging any weekly progress. Last weekend we went to a Renaissance Faire and ate Faire food, stopped at The Old Spaghetti Factory for dinner on the way home and also ate Ice Cream. I didn't bother to track because I "knew" it was a day of bad decisions. I was really disappointed in myself and irritated with my husband for not being more supportive of my attempts to have a more healthy lifestyle. I spent Sunday and Monday in a funk because not only did I screw up my diet, I also broke my 10 minute streak feeling sorry for myself.
Yesterday, I pulled my head out of my a$$ and tracked the forbidden foods I had eaten over the weekend. You know what I discovered? I really didn't do too bad. Over these past few months with Spark People, I have learned to recognize proper portion sizes and make healthier choices from the menus. So although I did eat Pasta and bread, I ate moderate portions and stopped eating before I was completely full. I just didn't realize that I was actually being smart. That voice inside that tells me "Pasta, bread and Ice Cream are BAD" was louder than my subconscious conditioning to make better choices. I was so terrified that I had undone my great progress from last week that I didn't step on the scale. I was convinced that I'd gained back all the weight I'd lost. Well Tuesday, when I pulled my head out, I stepped on the scale and discovered I was at 148.5 (in the evening). One pound up from last week. Then this morning I weighed in at 147, half a pound less than my record for last week.
So I have to say thank you to Spark People for giving me the conditioning I need to tell my body when it's really full and what a real portion looks like! I am also thankful that I didn't backslide and give up entirely. I really wanted to on Monday. I even had a moment where I thought, "who cares if I lose this weight? why am I even bothering?" Well I CARE! I am the reason I am doing this! Well, I am doing this for me and for my daughter. I want to be a role model to her and I know that I am succeeding in that. She knows when Mommy laces up her Reeboks that its exercise time! She gets my mat and resistance band out of the closet when I get ready to do my strength training. She tries to do crunches and jumping jacks with me. She tries to hula hoop. She loves to dance. So, aside from having my own personal victories, I am also proud to see that she is learning a healthy life style from the start.
And that is how I turned a negative into a positive people! lol! That's it for the Gloaty Pants report (sorry Jen, I am totally stealing it).