Day 1 (5-23-2012)
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Ok so yeah I said it before and Im saying it again...I'm back and ready to start this again. This time the difference is that I know that there is absoultely nothing wrong with me medically to do this. I went to the doctor had blood work and everything is cool. The only thing that can be missing me up is having Vitamin D and B 12 deficiency. Honestly I thought it was no big deal until I started googling it. I had no idea that not having a balance of vitamins in your body can mess with you so much especially the 2 deficiencys I have. I have been having chronic pain and numbness in my legs and arms, as I read about these 2 vitamins I learned that having a deficiency of these 2 particular vitamins that it CAN cause chronic pain in the same spots that I have been hurting in. Cool so now I know....I bought the vitamins and started taking them yesterday and I have to say I already feel a little better...cant wait to have the full effect. Now Im not saying that its totally the vitamins, it could be the wake up call knowing that me, myself, and I is the only thing holding me back to get healthy. So that being said we will see in a week. Thats when I usually quit the whole trying thing.
Even though I dont want to do the whole quiting thing again in a week its possible. No I'm not being negative just knowing that Im more aware of what my problem is and knowing that I have a problem. I am an ADDICT. Not to alcohol,not to drugs, or anything like that. Im addicted to food. Sounds crazy but come to find out Im not the only one. People who isnt addicted to food cant possibly understand...just like you or me who is not addicted to drugs or alcohol cant understand how someone can get addicted to something so bad. Even though food is something everyone needs everyday, people like me abuse it everyday by over eating or bing eating and/or emotional eating. Abusing food wouldnt be so bad if what we binged on was fruit and salad but thats not what an abuser like me want. We want chips, cookies, pizza, fast food ANYTHING that has either lots of salt, sugar, or fried fatty food. Food addicts eat to get high...thats what makes us ''feel better" for that little bit until the guilt comes in and then we do it again because we are on that distructive pattern just as someone addicted to drugs or alcohol. The difference from drugs/alcohol abuse and food abuse? Drug/alcohol abusers are killing themselves faster and us food abusers are killing themselves slowly (atleast in my opinion Im not a dr).
So this is my day 1....Im not going through withdraws YET but I know its coming I just want to be strong enough to get through it. So im taking it day by day and little by little. Im not going to set myself up for failure this time...such as making huge goals that I know I cant keep. Im going to have a 6 months overall goal and a weekly goal. I go back to the dr in 6 months so I figured that would be something to look forward to So wish me luck! And the best of luck to you on YOUR journey!