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    KISSFAN1   124,575
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Family Drama Again!

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

I didn't go to the last day of triple couponing at Harris Teeter yesterday due to there not being enough coupons to justify going, but when my husband got home from work he told me that I needed to take him to pick up his company car (we had to take his rental car there to the dealership) so I was out anyway.

I didn't even bother taking my coupons so didn't stop by any store that had accepted coupons (I would feel totally naked walking into a store without my coupon box, LOL) and went to Aldi's to pick up some fruit instead. While I was there I noticed that their spiral hams which are normally $1.69 a pound were marked down. They knocked off $8 for any ham you bought so I got a $13 and some change ham for $5 and some change! emoticon emoticon

When we got back home we got a phone call from my niece (my sister's daughter) which was unexpected since I knew that my sister probably told her years ago to never call here again after I called my parents (who raised her, not my sister) once because she was calling here constantly and hanging up on us when my husband or I answered the phone.

We have caller i.d. so knew it was her and I just nicely called my parents to let them know that she was calling us around 20 times or more a day and hanging up on us when my daughter didn't answer. Well apparently that was unacceptable for me to do (again, I nicely let them know what was going on and had a very pleasant voice and said it in a very nice way) because my mother uninvited me to Thanksgiving, wouldn't tell me all the details about my uncle's funeral so I couldn't go (it was 3 hours away from me), and my sister called me up cursing and yelling at me.

I come from a very abusive family background and finally realized when this happened that I was done with having anything to do with my sister/mother and so I don't visit anymore. They are in another state and try their best to hurt me at every single turn.

I do have a relationship with my father (who has colon cancer) and call him regularly. No one lets me know that he's in the hospital or lets me know anything. Anyway, back to my niece, I was very pleasant with her and tried to encourage her as I know she has a terrible life with my sister/mother. She (my niece) is being raised by the same methods I was, which is to say that she feels unwanted and unloved and is abused emotionally.

I have seen my sister in the past emotionally abuse her and it infuriates me. I have said things to my parents (who again, raised her pretty much) but I am not allowed to do say anything. I've seen my sister and her late husband fight over changing her diaper when she was a baby (they acted like the babies). My niece is now 15 years old and wants to leave home.

Again, my sister is just like my mother and so I know how my niece feels, but I'm not allowed to stand up for her. Anyway my niece was talking with my daughter on the phone and my niece got another call. She took it but didn't realize that my daughter could hear her phone conversation and it turned out to be my mother. My mother asked my niece who she was talking to and when she told her, my mother told her that she had better ask her mother about talking to my daughter and to get off the phone with her.

Seriously???? emoticon I knew that my sister had probably forbid my niece to ever call us again but this confirmed it for me. Really, all because I nicely told them that she was hanging up on us constantly all day long for 2 days in the row? This same niece called everyone on my mother's cell phone and prank called them. My aunt (one of my mother's sisters) called and asked my mother if she had called her because my niece was calling her and making all kinds of prank calls.

Did my mother go off the deep end with my aunt? Nope, and my aunt wasn't as nice as I was about the situation, but I'm not allowed to stand up for myself or say anything about a situation since I am not considered family.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WINTERHARTT 5/23/2012 11:51AM

    I suggest you read the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. This book is really packed with some great wisdom and it really is an easy read. I live by those agreements now and it really has helped with all the drama.

Remember...you can accept the poison from these people, or you can dump it out. It always remains your decision.

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Comment edited on: 5/23/2012 2:58:46 PM

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SUGARSMOM2 5/23/2012 11:40AM

  I know you want to stay in touch but sometimes its bettter to stay clear.

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KISSFAN1 5/23/2012 10:37AM

    Good advice, that's exactly what I do and I stay clear of my family completely except my calling my father.

I stay away and still they manage somehow to reach me with their toxic drama.

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PGHKATHIE 5/23/2012 7:18AM

  I'm so sorry. toxic families can suck, and it is hard to find support for the distance you need to maintain in order to keep your family healthy.

Create your own holiday traditions, and stay well clear of these sources of poison in your life. Focus your energies on people who deserve it.

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