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    LARSIL   35,139
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30,000-39,999 SparkPoints
 
 
Starting Over - ONE MORE TIME!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

I've been incredibly busy for the past couple months - and I've missed my Spark People!

In that time, I have:
- Had several days from work due to aches, pains, arthritis, "general blahs"
- Been observed in the classroom more than 20 times since October
- Been prescribed an antidepressant, and even had the dosage increased
- Almost resigned (more than once) from the inner-city urban school where I teach

However, if I stay to the end of the year, I'm eligible for a salary buy-out which will be spread out over the next several years, like an annuity - this doesn't come from my retirement fund, and I'm free to seek employment elsewhere. (Keep the gold watch, just show me the door.)

With that type of stress, it finally happened -- after more than a year and a half of no alcohol, I found myself enjoying (?) some beer. Two years ago, I had a drinking problem with wine -- so I'm more than a little afraid of having wine again, and I am definitely avoiding hard liquor; but the beer seemed "OK".

It wasn't. But after one binge, my wife and I went to a counseling session together, and I have to admit very simply -- this is not anything I want or need right now. So, with thanks that it was just a simple binge and not a major upset, I feel that I've gotten it "out of my system" and am going back to a healthier attitude -- and abstinence.

My birthday is coming up soon, and my birthday present to myself (and the family) will be a family membership at the YMCA again -- so we can get back to using the gym and the pool, and having nights out as a family and getting active again. I also will be doing more of the cooking (Deb is a good cook, but with a limited repertoire - I'll be using SparkPeople recipes for much of what we do), and trying to get back to a healthy life -- and we'll see what employment I have next year! (Seems this happens every May/June, but this time, I have the opportunity to finally LEAVE this school district, not just shuffle between buildings.)

Rejoice with me! Life is an adventure, and the roller coaster is climbing the next hill already!

Your pal / brother / whatever,

Larry (LarSil) emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NANALISA-4 5/27/2012 10:14PM

    I am so sorry for all the stress you are enduring at this time. Remember the next time you consider the drink, to log on to Spark and start talking to us. We are here for you ALWAYS! Welcome back and best wishes to you! Hang on, life is a roller coaster ride! But if we ride it together, it can be so much fun!
Hugs,
Lisa

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AJDOVER1 5/27/2012 10:01PM

    It's great to see you back! I admire your new resolve and focus. Thanks for sharing your adventure with us.
Hugs,
Aurlie

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LESLIESENIOR 5/27/2012 5:03PM

    Hi Larry,
I'm sorry that stress and pressure of work has been a part of your life. I can totally relate. It has been an arduous school year for me too. The stress has been beyond belief. I love the kids but have decided to retire. My health is too important. Any drinking would not be a little slip or binge for me. It would be back to some very ugly and uncontrollable behavior.

I have really amped up my AA meetings during this time because even after 10 years of sobriety, I felt vulnerable to finding a "quick fix". I won't ever do that, so a program of recovery works for me. I find ANY alcohol toxic, in any form. My body does not discern which form it comes in.........hard liquor, wine, beer. I have to be vigilant about my mental, emotional, and spiritual state in order to resist the urge to splurge.

I know not everyone chooses recovery through AA. But I wish you health, happiness, and serenity in your journey back to health. I'm glad you have reconnected with your Spark friends.

Peace,
Leslie

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LESSOFPMCD 5/24/2012 1:34PM

    Welcome back!

Sorry to hear you had your lapse - I know it is something that I work very hard to not have but also know it may happen. We just have to not beat ourselves up about it - it happened - it's over with - now back to living the clean life again. I find keeping up with others in the same situation on SP really helps.

I think that once the school year is over and the stress starts to slip away you will find yourself getting back into the swing of things with eating, exercising etc.

Remember - you cand do this and you will do this!



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NEWKATHYNOW 5/22/2012 9:50PM

    That old saying about another door opening when one closes is so true. In my life I've been slow to get the guidance from God at times so a few doors have slammed before I got the message that I needed to move on to the next whatever. Other times I've been waiting to see which door would open next...lot to be said for timing! In any case I'm sure you have the countdown to the end of the year now! The buyout is sweet. Grab the money and run! Good luck.

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