Monday, May 21, 2012
Well, I have been MIA on Spark for awhile now. Why? Several reasons and some may even be excuses, but I am back and that is all that matters.
To make a long story short, after my Half Marathon in February my foot has been and continues to give me issues. My podiatrist thinks that I sprained it or jammed the joint that is attached to the big toe, 2nd and 3rd toe. So, I am in pain and it is still swollen. It doesn't hurt as much as it used to so I am slowly going to start running this Wednesday for 20 minutes and then build up to longer runs. I don't even know if I can run straight for 20 minutes anymore after having 2 month off, but I will try my best and anything is better than nothing right?
Second, I have realized that I have been mildly depressed. I think a lot of it is from my foot issue but also a lot has been going on at work. Our store manager was fired due to some inappropriate discussions amongst him and co-workers and also for performance issues (rumor has it). I have been working more hours than normal - not complaining- but I am not used to getting up at 4am and then working until 1pm and then taking care of my son when I get home, I am tired ALL of the time!!! It doesn't matter if I get 10 hours of sleep I still feel tired and crappy. Ugh!
I have also been allowing myself to eat a whole bunch of junk. I am very thankful that I have a job where I do not sit on my butt all day. I walk A LOT! But since I have been eating junk I feel like crap and also feel guilty afterwards. I beat myself up about it and I know that I shouldn't but I do. I wish I could stop the madness! After so many years of doing the same thing it is very hard to change and I am really making an effort to do so.
My mom's health isn't the greatest. She has shingles now for the third time and is also prediabetic. However, she has taken control of her diet and has lost approx. 40 pounds since taking on a low sugar, low carb diet. I still worry about her because she is also depressed and I call her everyday to check up on her to see how she is doing. She is 78 and I love her and worry about her.
I have a lot on my plate, but I NEED to get back to taking care of me and it starts this week. I am not a quitter and I will continue to fight for me. Hope I didn't moan and groan too much.
I may not be here everyday, but I will be checking in almost every day.