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    HOPEFUL2DAY!   17,457
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Depression vs. Unhealthy

Monday, May 21, 2012

I have struggled with depression for many years. Two years ago, I stopped taking the meds - I had been on them for 12 years. (I don't recommend doing this without your doctor's help, which I had.)

Here I am at a very different point in my life and I'm feeling those "depression" type symptoms again. I also wonder, if it's just because of the unhealthy state I've let my body get into. I'm only two pounds lighter than the heaviest weight I've ever been in my life. This is a problem.

Symptoms:

Fatigue - could be either (depression or weight)
Feels like a cloud behind my eyes making every movement a struggle - sounds more like depression, but really the depression could be symptomatic of my unhealthy state.
My will - I have to fight to make myself do anything. Could be either.

I'm not ready to jump on the meds again. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against them, but I want to make sure that is the right thing to do before I go back.
I'm also in a new place job wise. I resigned my position at the end of February, but agreed to stay and help until they found someone else and I could train them. So that means my last day was last Friday. School doesn't start again until next week, so I'm feeling a little lost. Most people would be thrilled at a week off. I normally would too, but I think it's the major changes in my life that make this adjustment more difficult. It's not like a regular week of vacation. Now add to that the reality that I don't always deal with change well. It's kind of odd, I can't stand routine, but struggle with change - yet I crave change at the same time.


My struggle:

I would normally just ride these symptoms and changes out - probably eating my way through the time, while sitting on the couch watching TV, but this isn't who I want to be anymore. So to make the changes inside of me, I have to figure out how to do that... and it's not as easy as I thought it would be.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDA! 5/22/2012 10:51PM

    I have suffered from depression for many years. I went on meds 4 years ago and feel much better than I ever have. Of course, I also exercise in some form everyday. Even if you do not want to reconsider meds, please increase your exercise minutes. You should see an upswing in your mood.

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KAYLSLYNN 5/22/2012 6:21PM

    I UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE GOING THRU. I HAVE DONE THAT BEEN THERE MANY TIMES IN MY LIFE. I HAVE SUFFERED WITH BI-POLAR FOR MANY YEARS . I PRAISE GOD I TAKE A LOT MEDS THEN IN THE BEGINNING. AS A MATTER OF FACT I ONLY TAKE ONE 150 LITHUIM WHERE IT WAS 800 TWICE A DAY. BUT I DO HAVE DAYS. YOU CAN DO IT. WITH FRIENDS THAT ENCOURAGE YOU. YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT PLACE . I AM GOING TO SEND AN INVITE TO A CLASS I FORMED A YEAR AND A HALF AGO. A NEW DAY A NEW YEAR ANEW ME. IT IS A TEAM I FORMED WHEN I WAS REALLY IN THE DUMPS. I FORMED IT TO GET ENCOURAGMENT AND TO ENCOURAGE OTHERS. IF YOU LOOK AND LIKE WHAT YOU SEE PLEASE JOIN US. I LOVE YOUR BACKGROUND PIC. I LOVE THE OCEAN. . INDIANA IS A LONG WAY AWAY. . KEEP ON KEEPING ON. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOURS KAY emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BUTRFLY_FREEDOM 5/22/2012 3:33PM

    Sorry to hear that you're struggling. But I am very proud of you for checking all your options before going back on meds. I have absolutely nothing against those who need it (mental illness of several types runs in my family), but I do feel that sometimes meds are prescribed because the patient just isn't willing to go through the effort and soul searching necessary... so they accept the bandaid. Stay strong!

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TERRIJ7 5/22/2012 1:55PM

    I like that you are examining all the factors in your life while trying to come up with a plan. I'm not an expert on depression but I wonder if just getting outside for a walk might help some of the symptoms. It would at least get you away from the refrigerator and the fresh air will be good medicine.

I know that just getting out the door is often the hardest part of the exercise!

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JUDI_CUTIE 5/21/2012 9:52PM

    I gave up one of my jobs, teaching at the community college. It was a jolt to my identity. Months later, I am very happy with the decision. But at the beginning, it was hard to figure out how to react.

I have been on medication for depression for years. I actually take it more for anxiety and agitation, but it is the same kind of medication. And now I am on straterra for ADD. I feel like staying with my medications because I cope better when I am taking them. But I can imagine if you went through all that it took to get off, you don't want to just jump back onto the medication.

Try not to draw any serious conclusions right away. It sounds like you are in a transitional time in your life. Take good care of yourself and try not to be too hard on yourself.

I completely understand the feeling that you want something to eat even though you know you are not hungry! That is one of my big problems. Sometimes I can avoid eating and sometimes I can't. It seems to be a mindset, what kind of basic state I am in.

I'm wishing good times for you!

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SYLPHINPROGRESS 5/21/2012 6:54PM

    I'm facing both.

Consider an 'annual physical' in the mix if it's been a while.

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ESTEPHENSON2 5/21/2012 5:13PM

    Are you working out? I start feeling very much like this when I get off my exercise routine. I know it's hard to get started when you don't even feel like even getting out of bed but once you start, each day it'll be easier and easier and you'll feel better and better. You can do it! Try forcing yourself to workout for 2 weeks and then re-evaluate how you feel. I bet you won't feel as fatigued and you'll be more excited to just be a part of your own life. It's worth the effort to feel "good" again, dontcha think?

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HOPEFUL2DAY! 5/21/2012 3:33PM

    Example: I just ate lunch, but I am wanting to go find something to eat now.

I know I'm not hungry. This is ridiculous.

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