Monday, May 21, 2012
I have PMDD. I've officially had it since 2009, but I think I had issues with it long before I got around to getting diagnosed. For those of you who don't know, PMDD is Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder.
You know all those jokes about how crazy women are the week before their period? Well, with me, it's not a joke. Sometimes it's just a vague depression that shows up the week before. Usually, it's this horrible anxiety, jumpiness, and clumsiness.
The last two days, it's been a nasty combination of the two. I've managed to wake up at 5 AM both days (and let me tell you, nothing good happens at 5 AM), and I've started crying before 10 AM... My poor husband has been a good sport and cuddled with me when I needed it though.
At first, I thought there was something really wrong with me, because I haven't felt this awful in months. Of course, that sort of thinking only makes you feel worse. Depression and anxiety has that funny exponential growth thing going on... The more you dwell, the less it seems like a perfectly natural emotion, and the more it becomes this gaping chasm of your own fault.
But then, my husband reminded me I haven't had my period in three months (thankfully, I'm not pregnant according to the doctor) and that these horrible feelings will probably be gone by the end of the week. I'm glad someone can be objective when I can't.