Monday, May 21, 2012
Having some light bulb moments and want to record them... I know I've gone up and down with my weight, especially in the last few years, that I could see and feel and notice with clothing and in photos. But I never really thought about what my lack of exercise was DOING to my body on the inside! In my "good times" when I was sparking, tracking food and exercise and working out I felt physically stronger, like I could manage a lot of physical tasks despite how my body looked on the outside. I had stamina and a modest amount of endurance. Since getting back on sparkpeople and recommitting myself to making THIS the time that sticks, this the time I make this change for LIFE and exercising again I see how much I have damaged what little physical health/endurance/stamina I had. I'm disappointed and kind of surprised at myself that I didn't see it coming. I feel like I've been in hiding under a blanket or plugging my ears to what my body has been trying desperately to tell me.
I'm frustrated (!!!) when my legs won't pedal stronger at the end of my bike ride, or that my shins KILL me after a walk that is pretty easy, or that my feet hurt again after thinking my plantar fasciitis was healed. I've slid backward, have no one to blame but myself and feel really bad about it.
BUT! BUT! I AM looking forward to seeing how far I can come. It really only can get better. I know I can gain stamina, increase my endurance and in the next few weeks I can see myself racing through a bike ride, wanting to challenge myself to harder routes, walking faster and faster on my walks and not feeling the pain of my shins as they scream in the first five minutes of a walk! I know it will come. I have to keep working though.