Monday, May 21, 2012
I'm hitting my first set back. And with Shavuos around the corner I need to re-group.
And a need to re-evaluate.
Why am I doing this?
Is it so the size 16 skirt I got (it's so wide!) gets too big?
Is it so I can be, with the help of G-d, healthy to raise my children to, also with the help of Gd, Torah, chuppah and maisim tovim (good deeds)?
I'd like to say it's the latter, but somehow part of me is a little miffed with the size 16 skirt. Even though it's new and even though it's part of a badly needed holiday outfit. And even though I'm halfway there to having lost 10% of the body weight I had back in April, which, I keep on reading, brings health benefits all of it's own.
So I'm reminding myself of concepts/phrases I've learned:
1. yerida letzorech aliyah (a descent in order to ascend). Sometimes it seems like I'm going backwards when really it's in order to go upwards. This has so many applications and it has one here, as well. Okay so I went up a little. Maybe this was in order for me to better in the long run?
2. The Chofetz Chaim, zt"l, taught in his introduction to his sefer (book) of the same name about the laws of proper speech, speaks about how the yetzer hara (evil inclination) tells us these laws are not possible to keep, when really, the laws were given to people, and with knowledge of how to keep these laws, and with Gd's help, we'll be able to keep them. Similarily, I am tempted to say things like, you've stopped losing. Why bother? It's obviously too hard for you to do. And Shavuos is coming up. Enjoy Shavuos. And you can't enjoy Shavuos without cheesecake and blintzes and ice cream. And anyway you can start again right after Shavuos.
No! I'm going to keep trying. I'll include a little treat for myself but most of the meals are going to be composed of foods that are not going to derail my goals.