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THE_COUNTESS

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I See You

Monday, May 21, 2012

I see you.
Walking past me everyday.
Giving me that look.
Like, I don't deserve to breathe the same air as you.
Like, I'm not good enough to be in your mere presence.
I see you.
I see you.

I see you, and I don't care.
You can't hurt me anymore.
Not now.
Not ever again.
You think I'm jealous of you, but I'm not.
Not anymore.
You have nothing I want.
After all I've gone through.
Been through.
And come out of.
What you have is worthless to me.
I used to be jealous of you.
Wished I could be like you.
But that day.
Is gone.
Gone.
And it's not coming back.

The girl, that I was.
Is dead.
She hated herself.
Everything about herself.
She never thought she was good enough.
She listened to the lies.
And belived them.
She wanted to kill herself.
She wanted to die.
And now.
She is dead.

She died, and I'm here.
I look almost the same as her.
Just older.
And taller.
But, if you look closely, you can see it.
If you look, you'll see.
I'm not afraid.
Not anymore.
Because I don't need you.
Not anymore.

You've never been where I was.
And you've never seen what I saw.
You weren't there.
I was.
And I made it through.
And what I have, nothing can compare to.
Money.
Fame.
It means nothing to me.
If you want it, you can have it.

Don't get me wrong now.
I'm not angry.
No.
Not angry.
I pity you.
You actually think that all that means something.
That having it makes you someone.
But it's meaningless.
And it will fade away.
And you.
Will be left.
With nothing.

I'm not who I was before.
After it all.
And through it all.
And despite it all.
I am strong.
I'm not done yet though.
Still a work in progress.
But I'm closer.
Everyday.
Closer.

And, if you look, you can see my anthem.
It plays in my eyes.

I was broken.
But now I'm fixed.
I was weak.
But now I'm strong.
I was empty.
But now I'm filled.
I was dead, but I've been resurrected.
I was gone.
But now.
I'm back.
I'm here.

I'm here and I'm staying.

So yes.
I see you.
Walking past me everyday.
Giving me that look.
I see you.
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