Sunday, May 20, 2012
Have you ever wanted something so badly that it over-rules your common sense and reason? Well, I have; I do. I really want to be thin. I want to be proud of how I look and not feel like I should cover up where-ever I am. I want to be able to sit on the beach in a bikini and not draw negative attention to myself. I want to meet up with my friends and not be jealous of their appearances and slender shapes. I know how to lose weight. It seems simple. Eat healthy, eat less, exercise - easy peasy, right?! Wrong. I never knew how wrong I was. This is the way to lose weight, but to actually do that requires a lot more motivation, adherence and thought than I have ever realised. I salute all you out there who are successfully losing weight. I admire your strength. I am so focused on trying to stick to a plan, to these 3 ideas, that I've tired myself. I'm tired of working so hard, and getting nothing. I'm tired of pushing all my thoughts into this 1 tiny part of my life. Right now, I am so demotivated that I'm regressing - I'm going backwards! I am eating more than I have ages, and the wrong foods. Chocolate, biscuits and crisps is all I want to eat. I am exercising less, too. As a consequence to this, I'm gaining weight. All the weight I had lost is coming back! And to see that is even more demotivating. It's all a chain of events, linking one thing to another. I felt tired, so I ate, so I gained weight, so I was annoyed and upset, so I ate... An endless cycle that I can't break.
One step in the right direction could sort this. It's like riding a scooter - one step and one push and you can make it down the hill, over the top and down the other side. I don't want to climb uphill any more, so that step happens now.