Mad, thrilled and concerned.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
I weighed myself today. You may now realize why the title of this blog begins with "mad."
You have got to be kidding me? I have gained back almost every pound I had lost. I'm so mad at myself. I'm glad I started yesterday, otherwise this news might have thrown me into an emotional refrigerator eating my way through the pain, but I'm not there right now.
Yesterday on the DONE board, they have a thread that says: "Today I pledge to..."
I decided to bite (no pun intended) and I wrote that I pledge not to have any late night snacks.
Even as I wrote it, I wasn't sure how it would go - guess what??? I did it! I didn't even go to bed hungry. I just didn't eat anything. To me, that's thrilling. I didn't know it was possible.
I know my track record and it isn't that awesome. I was telling someone that I'm embarrassed to tell my sparkfriends I'm back... again. I feel like they are all wondering how long I'll stay this time. I know they're not, but that's just my own fears coming into play. I have to let all of these fears go if I'm going to get anywhere with this.
I should probably explain better:
I love my spark friends big time!
I don't think any of them really think that way, those are just my own fears, thoughts, and old tapes playing in my head.
I don't know what I'd do without my fellow sparkies. :)