Okay, I'm bouncing off the wall, sleeping badly and having anxiety dreams... end of taper, and the big day is less than 48 hours away.
What's causing me stress...
questioning if I'm really ready
people keep asking me "why"
lower back pain
GI issues, especially last few long runs
daughter's fight with the bureaucrats at her college
IT'S GOING TO HIT 85 degrees on race day, and I've trained in cool/cold weather
Why it's all going to be okay... I think...
I have trained sensibly, and am not suffering any running-related injuries (niggles; yes, Injuries? No)
I have trained a LOT - nearly 500 miles year-to-date, with a long run of nearly 22 miles
I have race experience enough (4 1/2 marathons) that I should not go out too fast, and can let the heat dictate my pace
lower back pain - improving daily, and doesn't bother me when I'm actually running.
Chafing - there will be some, but I've got the best outfit picked out, and am packing vaseline
GI Issues - stopped the back medication that was messing up my digestion. Packing Imodium. If it's a problem - there are porta-potties EVERY water stop
daughter's issues are out of my control - worry after the race
Why? - I've decided that trying to answer this question when asked by non-runners is similar to arguing with a 3-year-old about why they have to do as you say. My reasons are my reasons, and are apparently not enough to make my listeners run a marathon, so they discount them and insist I must have some other, more relevant reason, to run this race. Or they've already made up their mind I am nuts to do it and are looking to argue me out of it or undermine my confidence. So - stop trying to answer this question!
I do have reasons that are valid for me...
It's a natural progression in my running career; I have a good base and am ready to do this sensibly.
I ran my first 1/2 marathon at 50, and now that I'm 55 the marathon is next.
All my friends have done one, and I want the validation of "belonging"
To quote ON2VICTORY - "When you go after something big, you feel a calling inside that signals to your heart that it is time."
To quote Jonathan Beverly - "And in this excellence is joy: the unparalleled feeling of engaging in a difficult task and having the skill to accomplish it."
Lately, though, I've realized something. As I've hit 55 some signs of aging are being more obtrusive into my life. I'm starting menopause and have "warm flushes" (not hot flashes yet, but they are coming). Disrupted sleep is related to this. Back issues, and a herniated disc from 30 years on the computer. Increasingly bad eyesight - switching several pairs of glasses and having none that work for all uses. All annoying, non life-threatening... but signs that age is having an impact.
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Running a marathon is my way of raging against the dying of the light.
Wish me luck on my FIRST marathon, Sunday, May 20, 2012