Thursday, May 17, 2012
So I've realized, apropos of nothing, that most of my blog entries start with "So." I thought about editing this one out, but as Popeye says, I yam what I yam.
And, hence, my boobs. Yesterday I blogged about how excited I was to realize I was down to a 34 inch band from a 46/48 inch band, indicating that with nearly 90 pounds gone, my torso/rib cage area has decreased in size by half.
Intellectually, I know my body has changed since I lost weight, but because I live with myself every day, I don't see it the way others do. For example, this weekend my sister offered to loan me a change of clothes to go play in the park, which made me laugh. She said, "but we're about the same size now." Um, no, we're not -- but then it struck me that she sees me as thinner than I am (or herself as heavier, or both). But either way, it made me realize how unrealistic we are about our bodies.
So yesterday I mentioned I was an H cup, which struck several people as absurdly large. I suppose it is, since I can't buy bras in "normal" places like a department store. And a note about that -- I'd been wearing DD bras, because when you measure me the way the bra fitting charts say to, I come out DD -- like right now, my boobs say that they're 38DD. But when you put actual bras on me, 38DD doesn't fit me right (sure, I can cram my boobs in there, but the bra doesn't fit the way it's supposed to fit, which I didn't know until I got fitted). I'm a 34H, and this is apparently pretty common. Many women don't get fitted for bras, and therefore don't wear the right size. So while I'm shocked to be an H cup, I'm happy to be wearing the right size bra for me.
And here's the thing -- this is my body. These are my boobs. They do make things a bit more awkward at times -- sometimes I need to get a bigger shirt to accommodate them; doing certain arm exercises requires some modification so I'm not running into them; I can't wear clothes that require me to go braless or (as far as I know, though I haven't tried) wear a strapless bra.
But on the other hand, this is my body. This is what I look like. And barring surgery, these are my boobs for life. I don't hate them; in fact, I love my silhouette, particularly with my waist thinning out. My boobs are just another part of me that's different, that makes me who I am. For those of you with A or B cups, who love that life, rock on. I can't imagine looking like that, since I've been large-chested since puberty. Instead, I look like me. I yam what I yam. And I love me, boobs and all.