Wednesday, May 16, 2012
So I have had the worst couple weeks and tonight I am going to see a Band I have followed for many years, Hot Water Music..... I love them! I really need to let off some steam and Rock out! Sounds silly but I feel the stress is not going anywhere but in circles.
If you have read my previous post I have been feeling sick for a long time and I truly believe it is all due to some stress I have been dealing with regarding my sons father. This is a man that I have know longer then anyone in my life other then family. I truly care about this person even though I should know he is never going to change.
This man has put me threw the most painful years of my life. And it continues into my sons life. I keep holding on to hope that he will turn his life around for our son, but he continues to let me down. Meanwhile I have to tell lies to my 9 year old or half truths to keep him from getting his heart broken.
This time I can't. This time he is going to jail for at least one to two years. This time I don't know what I can tell my son why he can't call his dad, or where he is on his birthday. I am in literal tears as I type this and maybe I need to get this off my chest and onto this biog so I can move on even if it is just for tonight so I can enjoy me some music by my favorite musician Chuck Ragan belt out songs with his beautiful raspy voice!
I am not going to let this person ruin my night, even if it is just for one night, I am going to make this night about ME, MYself and I!