Trying to take care of myself
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
I'm really unhappy right now. I'm at a time in my life where I realize the most of my friends don't really care about me past their own convenience.
I'm sick of it.
I've been doing things like taking myself out on dates by myself, going to restaurants, etc.
I've only just started to do this, and while I don't feel that different, it's probably because I've come to the realization that my friends will never be there for me.
I feel strangely alone right now.
All I want is someone that will do something special for my birthday. Not that they'd have to do something, but I want them to be willing to see me for five minutes on my birthday.
I want someone that would be willing to treat me once in awhile, not because they owe me, or because I don't have any money on me, but because they want to, because they're my friend.
I want someone that would appreciate me doing nice things for them.
I want someone that will set aside time in their schedule to see me.
I want someone here to hold me and tell me that not everyone is selfish and that out there, there are people that would genuinely care about me.
I sick and tired of dealing with this BS.
I'm being perfectly reasonable and I know it.
I want my life to start, somewhere else, not here.
I'm so, so, so, sick of dealing with BS.
This friday and saturday are going to be date nights for me. Both days will be a purposeful alone date nights. I think it might be better to be alone than to spend time with people that don't give a damn about me.