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    MORTICIAADDAMS   265,842
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Catching Up

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Sunday before last I slept fairly well but had vivid dreams and was sweating a lot. Tom Cruise was in my dreams. Totally weird. That might explain the sweating except that I hate Tom Cruise. LOL. I really wish he would stop hitting on me! LOL. I guess he's tired of Katie and is sampling the Granny circuit. I hope he likes industrial bras and granny panties. No Wonder Bras and thongs for me, my Tommy Boy. I have way too much "upstairs" to be pushing it anywhere and I don't want anything in my butt crack. LOL. I don't know how women wear this stuff. Sorry..... Ignore me, I think my brain fried last Sunday night during the sweats.

Speaking of brains frying, the next Monday my GERD was not under control with the meds so obviously they don't work all that well under duress. The wonder meds don't allow you to break the GERD rules. Yes, I broke the GERD rules. I was starved and I ate too late. I could not imagine sleeping while that hungry. Besides, I can't help it - I am a rule breaker. Not all rules, just ones I think might be dumb. One of my favorite words was always "Why?"

Did you ever wonder WHY "I" is before "E" except after "C"? Who decides stuff like this? The grammar police? I had a teacher in junior high who was a grammar freak. She was a tall, lanky, woman who reminded me of Julia Child. One of those people who you are not really sure if they are male or female and are afraid to ask just in case it might be a man wearing a red cashmere sweater with a kilt. She was partial to plaid pleated skirts. I know grammar was her job but she was consumed with it. She expected us to carry our special little hard-back grammar booklet everywhere. I still have mine but stopped carrying it at some point. If I threw it in the trash today I'm sure she would rise from the dead and attack me. She would have no problems correcting the pres if he used a misplaced modifier. I am probably one of the few people in the world who actually knows their linking verbs thanks to this woman. She had us sing them every day. Yes, I'm serious. "Is, am, are, was, were, has been, have been, will be, become, taste, smell, prove,......................" We also rapped our auxiliary verbs too. This kinky woman was before her time. Is their any practical use for this? Not that I can think of but if you know any you can let me know. I can also sing all of the states and know their capitals too - our geography teacher was also a freak. And I know a lot of other useless trivia thanks to my unique grade school experience. Thanks to Sputnik we were the pilot program for gifted students in our area. I can't think of anything any of us contributed to the space program or national security. LOL.

The standards today in my area have slipped a lot from when I was a child. We were expected to achieve perfection or else not be able to sit down for a week thanks to a throttled bottom. You sat down and shut up and paid attention to the teacher or they beat you half to death with a ruler or a paddle plus the entire world's permission. The kids in my class kept tabs and by the time we reached 5th grade everyone in the class had been paddled. LOL. Some of my classmates are successful entrepreneurs, lawyers, doctors, professors and they all had their butts paddled at my grade school. Kind of humbling really. I deserved my paddling but some of the kids were fairly innocent. My best friend was paddled for touching the piano. Now the educators are thrilled if you are potty trained by high school and refrain from stabbing other kids with a switch blade in kindergarten. The teachers are afraid to raise their voice to keep you from killing another student because they can be sued.

I am the goddess of rain. No matter what time of the day or night if I go out to the alter to make a sacrifice (burn the trash in the fire pit) the heavens will immediately open and it will pour rain. My husband has even pointed this out to me. I barely get it burned before it pours.

My son had his second follow up appointment with the dermatologist Monday before last. They were pleased with his progress. The P.A.-C doesn't think my son has chickenpox so we had to wait for the biopsy. While we were in town I went to the post office, bank, Dish office, water office and meat market so I got that out of the way. Got most of our bills paid.

My son went back to work Tuesday before last. I stayed home and struggled with G.I problems and tried to catch up on work around here. I had to get my check book in some kind of shape as I had ignored it for over a week. I defrosted the dorm fridge and broke the freezer door off so my hubby had to fix it when he got home. Thank goodness we have a spare dorm fridge on the back porch as the glue had to set up overnight.

Wednesday my son had the day off. It was my errand and shopping day. Most errands were done so I just had the newspaper office to go to. Plus Aldi, Kroger, and Wal-mart. It took me way too long for just that. My son folded some laundry for me and he helped me unload the groceries. It was my day to use my Kroger coupons so I had a lot. My hubby finished the big dorm fridge and I moved the stuff back into it.

Some butthole killed a turtle out in front of our house. Probably one of ours. Every day there are dead ones on the road. I seldom see any in our yard any more.

One of the last days I remember seeing Baby was on Friday, April 27. I was really worrying about her because she started coming to eat less and less. I would go out and call her everyday but she never came. On the 27th she was waiting for me in the yard for a change and I had a lot of food saved up for her. The next week I also had a lot of food saved and only got to feed her once. That day I have some chicken for her. Last Thursday I went out with a whistle and I had hoped she would hear me but I had this feeling she was gone and decided to stop saving the food for her and just put it out as I had a plate full. Later when my hubby got home he and I went for a walk and the neighbor was mowing his lawn and he turned his mower off and said that Baby had died. He said she was pretty upset in the storm we had on Friday night and Saturday morning and that is one of the last times he saw her. He looked for her for days and finally on Wednesday he smelled something bad in the back yard and found her decomposing body under his shed. She was 14 1/2. He says she was the best dog he ever had. Her new dog house still sits in the yard. I don't think she used it much. It will be lonely here without her. The neighbor says he is not going to get any dogs for a while. I don't know that I want to get attached to any more of them after Gunner, Hondo, Chumlee, and Baby.

Thursday I discovered that in my zeal to get in all of my GERD, allergy, and asthma meds I forgot to take my B.P. med for the past 3 days. I almost totally freaked out and took my B.P. right away and was glad to see it was 138/80 as it could have been a lot worse. Especially since I cheated the night before. I packed on the sodium weight though.

I had a coupon for a ready to bake pizza from Kroger so we had that Wednesday night. I figured is would kill me with my G.I. problems but Thursday I felt better. Go figure!! I didn't have my yogurt and I think the problem may be it - the meds seem to have stirred up my lactose intolerance.

We are paying $2500 for insurance on my MIL's house until it sells. We renewed it in March and I called them Thursday to ask them why they had not sent a policy and they said the company had sent it to them by email. They wanted to send me a 90 plus page attachment and have me copy it out. When we're paying $2500????????????? (Insert expletives here). I don't have any intention of doing this. For one I don't have my computer set up with a printer and don't know how to do it. Grrrrrr!!!

Friday the weather was nice and I got to stay home and try to catch up on some work around here.

Saturday my son had to work and my hubby and I went to my MIL's house. We had made plans to take a gift to my MIL's best friend for Mother's Day. She loved it. Hubby had to mow the yard and we set up the clothes rack and loaded the rummage clothes on it. It needs braced. We were planning to go to Sam's and out to dinner and another neighbor showed up at the time we told them earlier we were leaving and they stayed for 2 hours!!!!!!!!!! They went through all the rummage stuff and bought a bunch of stuff. Of course they paid no where near what it is worth. We ended up getting to Sam's late and my nice pre-mother's day dinner plans were ruined and we ended up back in our county at Long John Silver's. HUGE SIGH!

My son had to work Mother's Day. Hubby spent the day working on our lawn mower and I potted all of my impatiens. We went to Wal-mart and then to Wendy's and got a Baconater. I had never had chili cheese fries before and I ordered some. I will never have them again. Hubby had to eat them. They were gross. We got some ice cream at Dairy Mart. Hubby got lemon and I got pineapple.

This Sunday night I had another bizarre dream. I was in a tiny village about 5.5 miles from here outside the tiny grocery store. A young man was running around and had been impaled by a log. He had a gaping wound in his chest the size of a que ball. I tried to get him to lay down so I could help him. I didn't have a stethoscope but wanted to determine the integrity of his heart and lungs. I didn't detect a pneumothorax. Someone found a cardiac monitor and I was going to connect the leads to his chest but when I looked at him he had shrank and was basically a full size head on a shriveled baby's body. He was pale and clammy and he arrested. I was preparing to do CPR when I noticed the ambulance was down the street and screamed that they were at the wrong place. a second ambulance was further down across the street. The paramedic showed up and when he did I noticed that my patient had turned into a piece of cooked bacon that was broken up into one inch pieces. The EMT said the bacon was too far gone to save and I told him that as a trauma nurse that decision would be up to me. Talk about delusions of grandeur!! LOL. I then tried to figure out how to put leads on the bacon and do CPR on it. I'm sure that some of you think this is crazy and yes you would be right but I have actually had to work on people that were almost this bad when I was a mobile trauma nurse. LOL. The neurosurgeon who was tactless would put it thus, "This person is basically dead. Why are they sending me a dead body??" Yes, indeedie.

Monday my son has his follow up appointment with the dermatologist. The biopsy was no help - indeterminate. It said there was some evidence of folliculitis with hives. They don't know if he had chicken pox or not and would have to do a titre to find out if he has any antibodies. They are pleased with his progress though. The antivirals are done and the antibiotics. He can take the atarax if he needs it and is to cut back to just the Claritin or the Allegra. After the appointment my son went to work and I went and did my shopping and errands. I went to the post office, newspaper office, Dollar General, Family Dollar, Big Lots, the bank, Aldi, Kroger, and Kmart. Got home at 4:10 and had to unload the car and put it up while making a late supper.

Today my son was off work so we finally cleaned the 6 pet cages. They were filthy. We cleaned the bathroom and vacuumed. My son went to taekwondo but it had been canceled. Hubby and I went for a walk and listened to the owls talking. We are still walking every day. The bluebirds and indigo buntings are hanging around. Also the pregnant deer and her female relative, probably her daughter, are hanging around the yard every day. She always delivers her baby here. It is probably where she was born and now has her children. I found out today that our little rural post office's hours are going to be cut to 4 hours a day. I usually go at the same time every day but this will suck as my friend is postmaster there.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOTSLADY 5/21/2012 1:10PM

    I had a Mrs. Ingenhorst in grade school. She had a three-sided ruler to keep us in check. You're so right how things have changed, and teachers don't even hug their kids much anymore. I got by on a lot of teacher hugs and kids today need them even more. Pretty sad. I can't remember any of my language arts lessons. I'm impressed with your memory!

Your dreams ... you're the bacon-ater. How interesting to get into your night-time brain.

So glad to hear about your son's getting some relief. And I'm so glad the cages are clean. I'm averse to smells. I can't go into the Dollar Store for long (I check for books for mom), or I get ill - the plastics smell. P.U. Call me a canary. ;P

I gotta walk the dog or I'm gonna be cleaning up a worse smell. Nice post today.

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CLOVER2 5/18/2012 1:18AM

    Sounds like you have had a very busy week! Do you have any idea why you are having such vivid dreams? Do you think it might be the meds that you are taking? Maybe the combinations? I hardly even remember mine anymore. Sounds like your son is doing much better, that's good!
My mother's day was very quiet, I didn't get in touch with my mother, but I had taken her to lunch for her birthday and mother's day a couple weeks before cause I knew that I was going to be pretty busy.
Thanks for updating us!
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MOMMA_BEAR_69 5/18/2012 1:02AM

    Love your blog! What a wild week you have had. You really had me laughing and crying. So glad that Ian is recovering so well and you are improving. Sure wish they could tell you what he had. So sorry about Baby but glad you know what happened to her. Keep enjoying your walks.
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DEE797 5/17/2012 10:27AM

    WOW! What a week you have had. LOL about your dreams! So sorry to hear that Baby passed away. emoticon

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SIMPLIFYLIFE 5/17/2012 7:04AM

    OMG do you make me laugh.. I'm not even sure where to start in responding.. I'll pick this random tidbit.. Tom Cruise dreams would make me sweat too.. NIGHTMARE!!! lol...

Love the walks with hubby.. they sound fabulous..

Your dreams are absolutely nutty..

Is son having the titre done for the chicken pox? Poor thing..ouch.. At least he is feeling better.

I want to live where you live..sobs... Got room? lol.. I am ready to ditch suburbia and then some!!

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GUNNSGIRL91303 5/16/2012 11:45PM

    Wow, what a week! emoticon
Something I forgot to mention about GERD...the most important in fact! Buy some red apples, they can't be green. Whenever you get GERD symptoms eat an apple with the skin. Your symptoms will disappear in a few minutes. I used to hate apples but the first time I tried this remedy it worked and now I eat at least one per day, sometimes 2. I've noticed other benefits as well such as feeling fuller, better bowel regularity and I've lost a couple of really stubborn lbs. I swear to you that this works. Please try it, for your health's sake! Let me know how it works for you. You can find a ton of information about this online or you can visit my blog at http://www.theherbnhousewife.blogsp
ot.com and read my blog about it there. Good luck!

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CHRIS3874 5/16/2012 10:06PM

    I had to laugh at your comments. My English 30 teacher was a fat Greek lady (how she could work for the Separate (Catholic) school board is beyond me she was orthodox I found out years later) ,She used stand at the lecturn and scratch her forearms with her long polished nails. I always thought there was something crocodillian about her doing that - thirty three years later it still creeps me out!
Last might I had some dream about getting stuck on some pile of garbage or debris with all the water flowing over it and being knee deep in the water and trying to knock over some debris to creat a new path and there was some sort of generator or some other apparatus there becasue there were some people with things that looked like plastic fly swatters with wires attached to them and these guys were reaching up to these wires to measure them with these weird probes (I can't recall where the wires came from) and I thought that these guys were crazy as THEY were standing in the water TOO and every time they tried to measure the voltage they would get a HUGE shock. I can still remember that part of the dream. I guess I got bit once too often a few times with other employers. LOL its an occupational hazard.

Comment edited on: 5/16/2012 10:07:20 PM

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NORASPAT 5/16/2012 9:22PM

    Sure was a busy week it must have taken half a day to catch up on your blog. I am very pleased you and Ian are doing better and pleased your garden is getting planted HUGS Pat in Maine. emoticon That took a while to read. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FULLOFFAITH 5/16/2012 3:52PM

    emoticon what a week.

emoticon Lisa

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JUSTJO66 5/16/2012 3:11PM

    I'm so sorry to hear about Baby and your turtle. You crack me
up with your school stories and your crazy dreams. Could
be the GERD meds making you dream so crazy? I sometimes dream
about being in the hospital working again...always crazy, too.


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LUVSBULLDOGS 5/16/2012 2:49PM

    We're up to date now. Thanks for the info;)

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BETHGILLIGAN 5/16/2012 12:46PM

    Your crazy life is spilling over into your dreams!!! AAARGGG!!!! Funny, I don't like Tom Cruise either! I've had some crazy dreams but no bacon or Tom in mine. Have a great day! Hope you continue to feel better!

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CAROLFAITHWALKR 5/16/2012 10:32AM

    Wow! So glad at least Ian is better. And your Gerd and MRSA is better? So sad about Baby's new doghouse; too bad it couldn't have been provided sooner. 14 1/2 is very very old. Sorry about the turtle!

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SUZYMOBILE 5/16/2012 9:32AM

    Whew, sistah! I'm going to have to take a while to savor this one! Commentary to come.

...

Okay, my favorite part was you giving CPR to a strip of bacon! (I think you ARE the Baconator!!) OMG, that got me laughing! That, and the kids in your class keeping tabs on the paddlings.

So sad about Baby, but at least you know what became of her.

Oh, and I just got a policy renewal on my ex's house back in Mass. that was sold a year ago and torn down shortly after! I guess the idiotic mortgage company just kept on paying it from escrow, long after the closing. At least we'll get some cash out of it ... unless I have to do battle with the ex over this, too.

Comment edited on: 5/16/2012 9:56:35 AM

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SHIRLEYX 5/16/2012 6:56AM

    Glad that your son is feeling better and able to get back to work. It must have been good to get those 6 pet cages clean. Wishing your family a full recovery to health this week.

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FAERY_FACE 5/16/2012 3:02AM

    I am so glad that I am not the only one who has really crazy dreams. LOL. My BF tells me that I need help, but he doesn't think anyone is specialized enough to help me.
Oh, and you would be surprised, but I really use all that grammar rules about every day. I do translations and proof-reading, so somewhere in the world somebody uses it.
We should call you Monjadji. She is the Rain Queen legend of South Africa. http://www.vanhunks.com/lowveld1/mo
djadji1.html , if you are interested to see what they say about her.
I hope this week goes well and that your health will improve. Have a fab day!

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NIELSENSLADY 5/16/2012 2:15AM

    What a week! There is definitely a link between food intolerances and nightmares because I have them often too, with sweats.

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ALASKASKY 5/16/2012 12:51AM

    I'm ROTFL too!

I'm glad your son is better, hopefully the results will tell you what the problem is.

I agree with the whole thong thing. I don't know how people do it. emoticon

So sorry to hear about Baby. It's hard trying to replace an animal because they become our children.

As for your experience with grammar, I think it's a great way to learn. Your teacher was definitely anal, but as a writer, I could have used her when I was getting my writing degree and even now I have serious issues with certain parts of speech.
I bet if you asked most elementary school kids about grammar rules today, they wouldn't have a clue.

You're so right about teachers not being able to discipline kids today. My friend was a substitute at a high school one year and was told by her own stepson to get a magazine, sit at the desk, and act like she doesn't see or hear anything. emoticon

I only had one teacher(Ms. Freidy), who would swat you with her pointer stick on the hands or the butt and then dared any parent to come in and challenge her. On the other hand she spent time with us by taking us for outings and to her home. She also did nice things for the students who acted up, like giving them awards, and trying to make them feel good about themselves. emoticon

The insurance company is a joke, 90 pages of ink can be expensive.

I've missed reading your blogs and am so happy I stopped by today. I got a good chuckle and enjoyed catching up with your news.



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CODEMAULER 5/16/2012 12:22AM

    I thought that I had crazy dreams,,, you win.

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I hope that things are looking up for you, day by day.

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0309COOKIE 5/16/2012 12:19AM

    Your blogs are always so entertaining! Industrial bras and granny panties, lol.

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BEARGODDESS 5/15/2012 11:43PM

    ROTFL!! Sorry, I'm still recovering from your PTSD dream of reviving the bacon-man! I'm so glad to hear that your son is doing better emoticon and that you're getting there. I would trade you my cologne soaked, strange therapy guy for Tom Cruise; except that I also hate Tom Cruise. Lol!I loved the underwear tangent.

I'm still so sorry about Baby. We're NEVER ready for them to leave us are we?
Thanks for the comments on my blogs, it's great to have you "back" again!

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Nighty night GF

Lynn

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WOWEETOO 5/15/2012 11:28PM

    wowee some dreams baconator caused that lol
loves and hugs

the lady mary emoticon

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SUSIEPH1 5/15/2012 11:24PM

    Hi Tish!!
Thank you so very much for all yor lovely comments and support on my Blogs ..
I am trying to get back tracking ..
I am still very weak but so determined to keep going .. I am so sorry Ian and you have been so ill .. and I greive for Baby .
You will miss her so much and I will miss not hearing about her ..Glad you and hubby are still walking .. and the wildlife are still around .. sorry about your turtle .. hope all the furbabies are ok ..
Take care my friend .. love you xxx Susie
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HEALTHY4ME 5/15/2012 11:23PM

    Busy week you had, glad that you are all getting better, wonder what son had! I too would miss baby.
Hope you sleep well with no strange dreams!
Night it is after midnight here, I have to get to bed.


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