Sunday, May 13, 2012
The scale is up again! What a surprise? Not!! I knew it was gonna happen this week. It usually happens pretty big when it does....I retain water too easily. Excessive salty snacking is bad for me. I know this but did it anyway.
I think there was some emotional eating going on this week behind my choices. On June 8 2012 it will be 2 years since my mother passed away and today was another Mother's Day without her. My mother, even though not with me in the physical, has been a great support motivator in my weight loss. My mother was a NTP (Naturally Thin Person) her whole life and I know it bothered her that her daughter was FAT. But, throughout my life and many attempts, just couldn't get the weight off or to stay off when it did.
The scale went back up this week 10 lbs and YES it bothers me but I know almost all of it is water weight and should be off next week. This is what usually happened when I had a week with a big gain. There was a week in the past where I gained 8 lbs and the week after that I lost 10 lbs.
I just have to get past this up down thing with the scale already. It's getting on my last nerve. Since July 3 2011 my total weight loss is 124 lbs and that is nothing to feel bad about. I've come far in a short time. When I need to be reminded or "smacked" back into reality like Cher would say in Moonstruck "Snap Out Of It"-I look at my before pictures.
There is NO WAY I'm going to let myself get back to where I was last July-I don't care if the scale is showing a gain this week. It's part of life. It is what it is!
I'm a MOM! I LOVE MY KIDS! I LOVE BEING A MOM & it's very important to me! So, as a MOM I have to take care of myself so I can be around for my kids as long as possible.....I want to see grandkids & great grandkids.....
I LOVE ME and it's taken a LONG time for me to learn to say it and mean it. It was hard to love myself when I was morbidly obese, the fattest person everywhere I went (99% of the times) & in my mind ugly & not worthy of self love or love from anyone. No1 can take that away from me & everything that losing weight has given me. It's given me so much more than a smaller number on the scale, smaller body, & smaller clothes. Losing weight has given me my health back (haven't had any asthma episodes), my self respect & self worth, my self esteem & learning to love myself. It's a given me a FREEDOM that I haven't felt in a long time to enjoy my family & my life the way it's meant to be. Life isn't meant to sit back and keep watching from the sidelines because I couldn't do simple stuff (like walking too far without being in pain or not being able to breathe).
LOSING WEIGHT HAS GIVEN ME-ME!!! No numbers on a scale is going to take that away or dictate how I feel about me!
I LOVE ME! There I said it and I meant it!!