Sunday, May 13, 2012
Gotta get back to 160s. I'm up to 174. And... I'm saying it....
I want to lose more weight. I want to get to the 140's and see what that feels like.
I knew it would happen this way. Onderland, goal 1. 175 goal 2. 145 goal 3.
There are personal evolutions and changes that have to, do and will happen in order to make way for this. MACHETE in the jungle. Could happen. Could happen.
Shine Your Light.
Don't Dim Your Light.
Work. Place. Love.
Food remains a centerpiece of my enjoyment every day. That may not ever change. It is so for so many... right?
Relationships are f'g confusing. I will not... I hereby declare... I will not retreat to the cupboards and the fridge in lieu of feeling my feelings when they are so uncomfortable.
Work is elusive for so many these days. Including me.
I am afraid. . . . of BIG CHANGES.
And it may be that BIG CHANGES are in store.
If I hold c h a n g e at bay.... if i stave it off... treading water.... holding still.... (there is no such thing, right?).... then I doubt I'll be happy.
We've all seen the anorexic/bulemic tv shows where people occupy their every thought with controlling their diet and exercise. Dieting, even successfully, can, for me, obfuscate other things -- in fact, in order to be successful with diet/weight loss I have historically had to narrow my field of vision, certainly have had to block out stressors. Yet... I wonder... Do I need to learn acquire new stress/management techniques in order to move the scale down some more?
I think it may be.
Goal 3 - the weight wish is the easy part. Must fill in the other side.
There is more to declare. Why I have no idea how to answer it.... well... that may be the point today.
Anybody have experiences with how to get at other life plan goals?
I think I need help.