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    LITTLEBO   27,855
25,000-29,999 SparkPoints
I really have learned nothing….

Saturday, May 12, 2012

For the past couple of weeks, I have felt void. I haven’t felt any highs, no lows, nothing special, pretty much nothing. I haven’t blogged about it because, people pleaser that I am, I didn’t want to disappoint anyone by not having something funny or entertaining to write about….

I won’t bore you with the details, but yesterday I felt like my old self. I mean the old self that eats for comfort….I have really learned nothing. And today I’m pretty sure I will gain all the weight back. Tomorrow who knows what I will feel.
But please don’t get too worried. I keep telling myself this will pass. It just hasn’t yet.

(Ironically, as I was thinking of blogging, “Lost In Space” came on. Pretty much sums up how I feel. Then after I started typing, the electricity went off for a minute….cosmic!)
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKL3 5/14/2012 7:20AM

    I have the exact same fears. I originally had lost close to 140 pounds, but I have gained 40 pounds back. Yikes!!! So I empathize with you. Gaining back weight that you have lost can be really demoralizing. Just don't let it get you down. That's what I'm trying to do. People at the nutrition center I go to keep reminding me that your weight is going to yo-yo, so I need to just expect that. But it's still scary when you see the weight coming right back on, pound by pound.

I'm hoping that the walk with your old friend perked you up. Hang in there---I have faith in you!!! Just tell yourself "I think I can! I KNOW I can!!!" And take each day, each hour, a bit at a time. Celebrate each small success (but not with food; you're not a dog, LOL!). Make a list of things you keep putting off, or special things that you enjoy doing---or buy yourself something you have been wanting to buy.

I think that with each others' support, we can do this!!! emoticon

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KANOE10 5/14/2012 7:09AM

    These feelings will pass. Are you feeling better today? We are going to fight those feelings from our old self..but the new one will prevail. Just yesterday I felt too full, felt fat and felt like I was going to gain all of my weight back.

Hope you are having a good Monday. emoticon

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IMSILLY 5/13/2012 11:42PM

Me too! I've been eating like crazy off and on (mostly on) for 3 weeks. Today I had 3 different desserts....well, 4 if you count the 2 chocolate frosted donuts (tops only) from the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru.
I keep going to bed at night thinking, "I can't stop eating." But I know I CAN stop.
Here's to better days ahead for you and me.

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CARDAMOMMA 5/13/2012 11:22AM

    I'm reading backwards; I hope you're feeling better. Getting together with your friend seems like a good way to try to get through feeling void-y. I hope you're having a nice time todya.

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SABRINALONDON21 5/13/2012 9:28AM

    Thank you for sharing; I have felt like that for pretty much the past 6 months...but every day I start again hoping to have a streak. Love your lavender fields!!!!

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EASTENDCLAM 5/13/2012 6:13AM

    Littlebo- Feeling up, down or sideways know this... I love having you as a Spark friend. Even in your meh days I take something from that. You don't have to be witty or entertaining, I'll take you in all respects, good, bad or indifferent.

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SALGUOD2 5/13/2012 5:02AM

    The new self is feeling bad because she is eating for comfort. Therefore you have learned somethings. Now learn to control that eating. We all take baby steps, we all have ups and downs, doesn't mean we haven't learned just makes us human

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MEDDYPEDDY 5/13/2012 12:02AM

    I have just read "Staying sober; a guide for relapse prevention" by Terence Gorski and learned that I need to sum up my experiences of my compulsiveness and commit to a program where I not only work with the twelve steps but also with my warning signs...this book tells me that it can be done. I can find recovery not only from alcohol but from BED and all other flight methods I might use as well

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ANNIEBOLEEN 5/12/2012 10:39PM

    Maybe soon you will find your lovely self again. She is there somewhere.

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DEB_LEA 5/12/2012 10:34PM

No words of wisdom from me....You know yourself and the ups and downs that we wander through in our daily lives. Can't belive that you've learned nothing. Sometimes it's hard to put into action that which we know...

Take care of yourself.


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CTEMPLE 5/12/2012 8:56PM

    A down couple of weeks make us see things in a different way. You have learnt, but there are parts of you that will fight every now and then to dominate again. The volume sounds loud now but it will decrease.
It's like William Gibson said the future is already here it's just not evenly distributed. You are a healthier version of yourself but not evenly distributed.
What is it that made you blue, is it summer with all the exposure, the outdoor activities, the pressure to be perfect and active, loneliness etc . It helps to find the cause.
If i could i would send you my pink glasses you can get your own here

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