Friday, May 11, 2012
This week has been really hard.
Tuesday I got a phone call at work from a family friend saying "Come quick. Your mom needs you." When I inquired why, she said that my step dad had collapsed at work and was unable to be revived. I immediately dropped everything and rushed to my mother's side to find that my step dad, my dad, my daddy was gone.
I was stunned. Not my dad, who was 10 foot tall and bulletproof. The man who accepted me as his daughter with no reservations when I was 12. Who taught me to dance, to laugh at the absurdities of life. He loved me no matter what I did, whether I was traveling the straight and narrow, or when I was the rebellious teenager who talked back, snuck out, ran away, smoked, drank and generally raised hell.
I know he was proud of me. I know he loved me. I watched him go from a strict parent to a soft hearted grandpa who was more than happy to walk his baby granddaughter with an earache all night long because he was the only one who could soothe her when she had earaches. He tried to understand when his grandson was talking about pokemon monsters and yu gi oh characters and even if he didn't get it, he listened.
I love my dad, who too many times, reminded me he was only a man and not the superman I thought he was as a kid.
I can't believe he's gone.
It's been a struggle this week to remember to eat, remember to sleep, sometimes to remember to breathe.
I will get back to my exercise and healthy eating next week, when the funeral is over, when the well wishers finally go away. For right now, I just need to get through this.
I miss you Daddy and I can't believe you're gone.