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Thursday, May 10, 2012

OK women I have to admit I'm confused. If you want to know how much weight he wants to loose, he'll give you a number. They'll say something like I want to loose 50 lbs. Or I want to get to 145. But I see a trend in women that I am confused by. Ask a woman how much weight she wants to loose and your will more than likely hear what size she wants to get to. My own wife has told me she doesn't want to reach her original goal because she will loose her curves and she doesn't want to loose them for me? Confusion sets in. If we are making this journey to get healthy, why the self sabotage. I know that I love my wife for the person she is on the inside. She is at a healthy weight but is letting up for me, a request I never made.
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  • CAMAEL100
    That is a great post! Has got all us ladies thinking about our insecurities hasn't it?

    I have never had a male weight loss buddy before, I think you were the first. I would never even discuss weight or size with them even with my husband though in fairness he has always accepted me as I am. Of course we can manage to see wrong in that as well!!

    I do have a goal size but it because I know what weight I will most likely be at that size and I think that is a healthy size. I think this time I am concentrating on a healthy lifestyle more and that is what is keeping me going and succeeding. I also am 100% sure I need to do this for myself as I know that when I feel like I look good, then I do look good and give off a positive image. When I don't feel good about myself then nothing looks good on me no matter what size!

    Your wife shouldn't do it for you because as well as it not being good for her, I suspect that it puts you under a bit of undue pressure as well. Maybe she is using you as an excuse and wants to relax a bit. However as an earlier comment said it is not a matter of relaxing, if it is a lifestyle change then one has to keep it up! But whatever choice she makes she needs to take ownership of it and if she prefers being curvy then that is what she should be.

    I think men are more practical when it comes to weight loss but also I think you have less issues with weight like it going up 4 pounds in the space of a week with food not being the reason!!!

    I am actually finding it good to get male views as I think it makes me a little more practical as we tend to attach too much self-esteem and emotions to the issue!
    2034 days ago
    HMMMM. This was most thought provoking to me. Thank you for the post, Doug.
    2040 days ago
    I can't tell you an exact weight because I don't know. The statistics they have on here do not even seem reasonable for me, but maybe they are. I always thought they were too low, but maybe they aren't. I am confused about what weight I want to be at, to be 100% honest. I want to feel healthy and fit..for me and no one else.
    2041 days ago
    2041 days ago
    Thanks for the comments ladies. What you have said is my point. I have not asked my wife to stay out a certian figure or shape. Society does this. So are we really losing the weight for ourselves or someone else. I agree also that men don't have it as bad a woman with society perception of how they should look. But if this journey isn't about our health then aren't we doomed to failure again. I believe we have got to want to do this for ourselves.
    2041 days ago
    I think if I knew the answer, then I wouldn't have spend the last 45 years yo-yoing....Short answer is "I don't know". But from a very young age, girls/women are pummeled with the whole body image thing...."what size are you/" I don't think boys/men are asked that too often.
    2041 days ago
    I'm not to worried about my curves...I have had them my whole life... No one has asked me my weight or my size...... It's NOT the weight or the size it's being healthy..that's why I am here. I look at it this way at my age I look pretty dam good and I'm healthier. Some women has to be that very small size I don't. My DH says I'm fine just the way I am....but I want to lose just a few(5) more lbs to be healthier. I'm not getting any younger!

    2041 days ago
    Well, I think we women associate a certain size with how good we feel. To me, my perfect size would be a 7 which is what I was in high school but I'm not sure what the weight would be exactly. Above everything, a woman wants to feel attractive for herself and for her husband. Even though you love your wife for what's inside, it's not always easy for a woman to believe that. I refuse to tell my husband how much I weigh because I feel like he would be totally disgusted by it....even though he tells me all the time that he loves me and I'm beautiful. Does it make sense? No...but when do we ever? :) Just continue to support her, whatever she decides. emoticon
    2041 days ago
    I guess that it just boils down to that thing that men never quite 'get' women and we never quite 'get' you guys - but we certainly love you all the same!! My father always told my brothers that if you want a happy life ' never ask a woman her age or weight'!!!
    Have a great weekend.
    Cheers emoticon
    2041 days ago
  • FAT_2_FAB
    I have no idea but if I had to give an answer, I'd probably say a certain size generally encompasses a certain weight. Of course height is a factor in that too, but I'd just about guess it's also about being comfortable in a certain size. When I wore a size 12, I hated it. I already knew I weighed more than I wanted because I had never been a size 12 before and that seemed soooo far from where I wanted to be. I have a goal weight but I also have a goal size and for my height, there's no way I can attain the size I want to be and still weigh a number I'm not comfortable with. I'd be comfortable with a size 2/4 over weighing a certain number. In fact, if I could get down to a size 2/4, I may weigh less than my goal weight. For women, a lot of it just has to do with the pressures society places on you to look a certain way and wear a certain size. You seldom hear that so-and-so celebrity weighs x # of pounds - it's always their dress size. Does that make any sense?
    2041 days ago
    Dont quiet Know what to say Salguod2. Just accepted it for what it is, most women will not tell you, their weight or how much they want to lose. Once I hit 30 I even stop telling people my age when they ask. (which i dont feel is a polite question.) But I will give them a range so they leave me alone. For me, I guess I feel like they are going to Judge me.

    2041 days ago
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