Urgh NC

Thursday, May 10, 2012

I live near Raleigh, NC and I'm so disappointed about Amendment One, it makes me so sad. I'm not going to say much, bc I could write FOREVER about it and of course, this is a weight loss and health site. This is 2012 for goodness sake, civil rights for EVERYONE. I'm so glad the president came out in support of equal rights for all.

**Don't even bother to write nasty comments about this. We can agree to disagree. This is MY BLOG and if you don't like it what I blog about, comment elsewhere. I will delete your ass if you are nasty and/or rude, and I mean this in the most kind way, of course** emoticon

So, what's up? I have been feeling so so. I ran for the first time since my half on March 17th the other day. I felt heavy and uncoordinated which I always feel after I haven't ran in awhile.

I truly wish I would have my "Ah ha! I need to get my lazy ass healthy" moment. I thought that I already had them....again and again and nothing seems to stick. It makes me a little sad bc I should want this and it should be top priority. Why isn't it? I guess I really don't feel THAT bad about myself yet bc then it would be top priority, right? Very, very frustrated at myself oh and pretty jealous of some people.


Because I see people that do care and are careful about what the eat and how much. People who love working out and being active. People who make it seem so easy to pick salad over pizza. People who are TRYING. People who are strong and focused even if they are dying for a piece of cake....or four.

Here's me on the sideline eating pizza and reading a US Weekly, watching in disbelief. WTF do you have that I don't? Drive? Determination? Focus? Self love? All of the above?

I'm not going to lie, I feel great when I eat well. Not sure why I choose some of the foods I do....
sure they taste great, but it's not like I have never had chocolate or pizza before. NOTHING is going to happen if I DON'T eat it, the world will not end and I certainty won't starve.

Hmmm...this blog is giving me a headache, so I'm going to stop babbling now. I guess just venting my frustration of not wanting it enough.

I guess I WANT it, but I don't want to do the work to get there. So, I guess I really do have the body I deserve. The body I have is the result of wishing and hoping, not true heart and hard work. The body I have is from sitting on the couch and watching reruns of Girls Nextdoor (oh, yeah, total guilty pleasure--shhhh). The body I have is a result of hours of reading and not running. The body I have is the result of treating myself to sweets and such.

You always get what you deserve.

Ah ha?


Thanks for reading and the support!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh Jen, I feel for you. I've been there, done that. Just recently have I turned it around and started anew. I wish I could tell you one specific thing that made my eyes open, but, I just felt it was time. I guess when none of your clothes fit and you refuse to shop for bigger clothes, you have to do something. Meeting up with one of m y spark friends definitely was a turning point, too. I hired a personal trainer (told my DH that I had to do. my spin instructor is giving me a great deal and she is amazing), started watching what I eat (she helped me with that), upping my cardio and having that goal helped. Going to palm springs next weekend and didn't want the bikini to look awful. I'll let you know if it worked!
    I hope you find it. You will when you're ready. It took me months, but it finally did. So, I know you'll get there, too.

    Hope you have a great weekend!!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2139 days ago
    If it helps...I would NEVER pick Salad over pizza. Which is why I stay far, far away from pizza.
    2140 days ago
    emoticon You, my friend, are amazing. Believe it.
    2140 days ago
    Our journey is SO similar, Jen! All the time when I read what you are writing I'm sitting here saying "YEAH - Exactly!!!!" I think the same thing and I get jealous too...jealous of people who pop onto Spark and 6 months later hit their goal weight...and here I am, 3 YEARS later and I'm still only halfway there. Ugh. It gets frustrating for sure.

    But the things I have to remember are that: 1) it's different for everyone; and 2) I want a diet that is sustainable for the long haul and what that means is that sometimes I'm going to eat stuff that's not good for me and sometimes I'll be spot on. Because that's life.

    So hang in there!!! You've come a long way be proud of yourself!
    2140 days ago
  • GUNNSGIRL91303
    We all have to find what really stokes our fire to keep motivated. For me it is not about the number on the scale but how my clothes fit, that I'm stronger and how much my fitness levels have increased. I hope you find what works for you because once you do I'm sure there will be no stopping you!
    2140 days ago
    Jen -

    I am somewhat like you - I am not losing anything, but workout & running like a mad woman. I eat within my calorie range, mostly towards the bottom - but it just doesn't budge. I am right now not feeling my workouts either ST or running - I go through the motions work hard (I have the sweat drenched clothes to prove it)....So many time I have wanted to give up for sure....however, I started a 90 challenge group on Facebook and I do NOT want to let them down. We have no rules set - we each have our own goals and workouts. Rules were ours to set....Be responsible to someone anyone for eating, working out....It might help.
    2140 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.

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