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totally sabotaged my self this morning hopefully can learn from it :(

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Well woke up in a semi cranky mood this morning my 8 month old woke up about 8 times last night, husband woke up early from back pain and started watching an incredibly loud movie ugh, finally after an hour of trying to get back to sleep I gave up and gave into hunger.
Started making hubby food (bacon and toast with jam) and I was gonna eat a brocoli cheese and egg omelet (no bacon or toast for me originally) well it started with my husband Bobo (not real name just super mad at him) any how Bobo looked at the toast said "I wanted melted butter you F*** up" So I kind a threw a temper tantrum and said "fine I'll eat it and make you a new one." Mistake #1 I even hate potatoe bread but I still ate it jam and all it made me soo mad and I don't even know why was it the fact that he didn't appreaciate my cooking or was it that I made all the effort to feed him and the kids before I fed myself. So I made him another one, then i had to get him more milk which meant once again for the fourth time going up and down our 16 steps got more for him then i ended up spilling coke and because I was mad at him I ended up drinking three glasses of it. a grand total of 620 calories ugg. mistake number two I did end up eating the omelet after all but still I didn't even enjoy eating all the bad food I felt guilty about it but anger was fuling the fire.
whats wrong with me and how can I learn from this and not sabotage myself quite so often again?????? I am hoping that if I do a three to five mile workout then maybe it might make up for the glutteny a little bit and start fresh tomorrow emoticon
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  • 3G1RLS4ME
    Blue42 Down that is a good idea thank you friend :)
    2143 days ago
    I'm glad the walk helped and sorry trying to talk over what made you angry didn't have a great resolution.

    One thing to possibly consider is for the particular emotions, how can you address them differently in the future. For example, at the point when you're getting up cranky - your sleep having been disupted, feeling tired - perhaps there's a different direction you could choose. For example, that might be a good time to get in a 10-minute workout, since exercise can be a mood-lifter.
    2143 days ago
  • 3G1RLS4ME
    thank you Stacey I did do my 3 mile workout right now and what you said has hit home I went into the workout with enthusiam and im a lot less stressed now. I have told my husband that he hurt my feelings and he just comes back at me with how much he gives up so he can work and I can raise our two girls he doesn't realize how hard that is how much work is involved I've sacraficed too and I love our girls thats why im losing weight for them and me if my 295lb husband wants to give up I guess I have to focus on me
    once again t hanks stacey
    2144 days ago
    Forgive yourself, you had a crappy night/morning. You can't change what has already happened. You can choose what you do now. Its easy to fall back into old habits under stress. This has happened to me.

    The thing about changing your life and choosing a healthier life is it changes more than your appearance and health. It changes you inside too. You start believing you are worthy, and you are. Circumstances that before you might not have questioned, suddenly are not ok. Also the people in your life are not used to the new you, with your new sense of selfworth, so they get confused when you do not respond the way you normally do.

    I suspect that this morning, when you made breakfast for everyone, its because you usually do that. It must have been hurtful to you when your husband didn't appreciate the effort you made for him by making him breakfast. The fact is, he should have been grateful that you were taking care of him while he is injured. Have you told him that him speaking to you that way hurt your feelings, when all you were trying to do was help him?

    When you go for your exercise session.. remember you, leave the anger at the door and focus on you and the reasons you are making this change. You are stronger than you know.

    2144 days ago
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