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FLY0NTHEWAL1
15,000-19,999 SparkPoints 17,653
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IDK...

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Last week I was spot-on, counting calories and staying in range. This week (ok I know it is only Tuesday)... ok well I guess I am having weekend guilt because yesterday I went over by about 300 calories, and Saturday I went over about 200 calories. Yes, I did go for my 2 mile walk yesterday, and according to my fitness tracker I burned about 300 calories, so really that sort of balances it out... sigh.

I guess part of me is afraid that I might not succeed even if I do everything right, even though my smarter self is like: Dude this is math. You eat the right stuff, you exercise regularly, and as long as you keep that up, sooner or later, you'll get where you're aiming to get.

I can't deny that I am VERY disappointed that I gained back weight that I lost. It makes me feel like I failed and I'm embarrassed about it. I know I am not JUST my weight, that people like me regardless, that I am smart and funny (seriously), that I am a wonderful friend and partner.

But I was THERE. I was in the NORMAL. I had MUSCLES, and I was FIT and POWERFUL. I FELT AMAZING.

I feel ashamed that I would waste all that effort and find myself in almost the exact same place that I started! And I'm angry too! How dare I do this to myself?? Did I not remember how horrible I felt? Did I really need a reminder how much it sucks to be overweight and not ever have anything to wear, and always be self-conscious?

I'm just very exasperated. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v CITYZOZO
    been there.. you are here now.. let's do now... and here.. way to get back on track, that is what it is all about right? chin up wonder woman!
    1535 days ago
  • v KITTEN_351
    Don't beat yourself up too much for one slip-up. It's a good opportunity to re-evaluate your goals and re-commit yourself to the journey. It happens to the best of us! You can do this and if you keep staying positive and pushing on no matter if you're weak a day or two, in the long run, you'll get back there!

    Trust me, I think we've ALL been there and you just have to pick yourself up and say "I can do it"!
    1536 days ago
  • v NEWCATA
    Don't be so hard with yourself...doesn't help you in this journey. You only have to look forward, and start thinking positively :) emoticon
    1536 days ago
  • v KATD13
    OMG!

    It's like you read my mind. That's exactly what I'm feeling.
    Sometimes I feel so tired of tracking my food, of going to the gym...I just want to eat a huge piece of cake and then have another one.

    We need to get back on track, we can do this! We are stronger than this!
    1536 days ago
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