Tuesday, May 08, 2012
I met with my trainer today who asked me about my food over the weekend. I was dishonest through omission. I got home and decided I had to tell him right away. Just admitting that I was dishonest and ashamed about what I ate induced a lot of vulnerability. My ego took a big hit. I wanted to eat to assuage my vulnerability and my negative feelings toward myself, when I walked in the door before I had even texted my amends and come clean! I took the food out and got ready to prepare it. Thankfully a moment of sanity returned and I actually thought through how awful it would be to admit that I was dishonest, make amends for it and then eat off plan and self destructively immediately. EEEEKKKK! I put the food away and came clean and made amends and then posted on my team site...texted my support network and told on myself and am doing so here also. In order to change my physical, I have to change my mental and spiritual. Admitting my weaknesses and flaws is a path to freedom. I can then genuinely admit my strengths and take them to heart. I dodged a bullet! The truth is a fat buster. If I had kept the lie I would have eaten that food and more and been one step closer to a heart attack, blindness, stroke and early death!