Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


Fear of Living

Tuesday, May 08, 2012

I have been sitting here trying to get the courage to go to the zoo by myself today. (90 miles away) Some might find that quit humerous since I am so outgoing at work, In my private life I am very shy, don't want to go in public alone (without my husband) and don't even drive out of town by myself.
I often wonder when this all started. Was it years ago when I was walking with a friend in California by the beach and had some young men cat call me saying he had some flour and all of them laughing at me, yelling "I never had a fat one before", and watching them laugh as my heart darkened. Was it being asked to get off of a ride because I was to fat to get the bar latched, my husband sitting there with sadness in his eyes. Was it when I had to ask for a seat belt extender on an airplane and the flight attend. rolling her eyes and looking at me with disgust.
My home is my safety net. My workplace is a safety place for me.
I am trying to break out of this shell by changing my life for the better. I am trying to break the shackles that hold me in my own prison.
Will the fear hold me back today????
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You need to break this cycle one trip at a time. I hope you went. You will feel on top of the world when you conquer each & every trip.You see I know your fear. I would never go out of town for fear of getting lost. I got lost one time when I was 21. I hyper ventilated it was awful. My husband bought me a GPS several years ago. Now I am unstoppable first time I ventured out alone I came home & cried tears of happiness.Do not allow anyone to make you feel less of yourself. I had that in my life time also.Do not allow any one to have that power over you, if you do there fore they win. With my fear I went to Israel, Greece & Jordan my husband would not fly out of the country. I have a fear of flying I went any way for 2 weeks. I got up in the early morning hours & traveled the streets of Israel. When I came home I was unstoppable.This did not happen all at once it was done in small chunks of time. I often go to New York City by myself because I love museums the culture, & Broadway.Have a good day & when you travel grab your camera & click away then those pictures will encourage you to go again. Have a lovely evening
    Judy emoticon
    1629 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.