I just have to write about something that's been on my heart for a long while. I think many of us believe we will be happier if we lose weight, if we fit into a certain size or a specific number appears on the scale. I'll admit it, no matter how much I tell myself and others it's about living a healthy lifestyle I still find my self-esteem connected to my weight. The reality is, even if I weigh what I did 35 years ago, I won't be happy with my body, at least not completely. I would still be able to point out numerous flaws. Something has to change.
I have been at a "healthy" weight since last summer. Yes, my numbers have had some fluctuations up or down a bit...but I have been at a healthy weight. But I find myself finding fault rather than celebrating the victory of being stronger and healthier.
We are so much more than what is on the outside!! Why is so much energy wasted on trying to attain some unrealistic ideal? I'm all for getting healthier, that's why I am still here! I know I can improve my eating habits, challenge my body physically, learn and grow....
But the negative thoughts have got to stop...I know I'm not alone, right?
I was at Target yesterday, trying on summer dresses. There was a mom and two teen girls in the dressing room at the same time. They were trying on bathing suits and the mom and one girl had found suits...but one of the girls was in tears, saying how disgusting she looked, nothing would look good on her....etc...I couldn't help overhearing, or checking her out when they left....she was a beautiful, healthy-looking, young woman...would swap bodies in a heartbeat...but she was in tears...now if a teen girl who looked like that was in tears over HER body, then I should just not ever leave the house!!! Right?!
This is just wrong. Our bodies are created with a lot of variety in color, shape, height, size...if we are at a healthy weight for our frame and able to move freely and do the things we love, shouldn't that be fabulous?!!! We delight in the variety of flowers and trees in nature...why not the way human bodies are made?
This makes me really angry. Angry that women and girls beat themselves up and waste tons of energy, time and money to look like someone they are not. I wanted to tell that girl she was beautiful, hold her head up high and smile!!!
But maybe I need to start with the woman in the mirror.