Monday, May 07, 2012
So I haven't been able to take my middle child to her dance lessons for the last two weeks. It's because my youngest was in the hospital one week and the other week the youngest was having tests on her brain stem. We went to practice today to find that no only has practice been cancelled, the recital was cancelled for her age group, and they had there last dance where they all dressed up in the costumes we had bought.
I was so upset. Number one, those stinking costumes cost a pretty penny. Right now my husband is working multiple jobs and I work full time and we are slipping further and further into medical debt. That money would have been used for something else. The other families did not appear to have the money issues that we have. Sometimes that just seems so helpless.
Number two, it is hard for my children to understand that it is not their sister's fault that she is sick. It just seemed like great we missed something else because of the littlest. This is not fair. It is not fair to the littlest because she cannot help it. It is not fair to my other children because they deserve good things too. I am running around trying so hard to make sure that everything is kept up, and it is just not fair.
And what is my first reaction? I wanted so bad to turn the car on and drive to Sonic for some ice cream or say forget cooking dinner, we are getting fast food. It took everything that I have to come home and put chicken in the oven and macaroni on stove top. I even had to drive around the block a few times convincing myself to not get something to eat.