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Down Down Down..

Monday, May 07, 2012

My pants are falling down.. Yes, literally.
This is really frustrating!!!
I need size 20's and I am wearing 24's. I own two 22's and they're both in the laundry. They're loose, but they don't fall down - yet.
So I need to get some 20s and some 1X's. It is time.

More important, my mood is down..
Not sure why, except maybe needing more sleep for real. I

I tried two walks and some hooping time.. but it didn't help my mood much today.
I did read that it takes a few weeks to really recover from the flu, and I think I am not giving myself the time to rest and recover. Meanwhile, it seems I haven't done a whole lot.. not a lot of housework which is mounting..

When I think about it, I can come up with reasons to be depressed.. and maybe that's what it is.. but nothing has really changed today.

I had to take a lot of trash and recycling to the dump today and there were a lot of maggots in the trash, which totally completely disgusts me. I got rid of all of it, though. Phew.. So that should make me feel better, right? But somehow after that my day went downhill.

I picked up my son from school and made sure he used the bathroom. We went directly to a thift store I wanted to check out, which turned out to be a consignment store and some nicer things.. But.. within five minutes, my son announced he had to go the bathroom. Nope, they don't have one. This is the second thrift store we've been to in the last couple weeks which doesn't have a bathroom. Sigh. So we left. I did see some promising pants there, so maybe I'll go in the morning.

I had a short temper with my son for no particular reason. My husband gets up very late like after 2, almost 3 pm and has to get to leave for work shortly after 4. I didn't see him all day because he went to bed just as I was getting up for the day, actually he went to bed AFTER I was up and when I was in the shower. I don't think we've exchanged 10 minutes of conversation in the last three or four days or longer. He just doesn't have time for me any more and this bothers me. We went to counseling between October and Dec. and things were better then until this job schedule changed in March. It has been so hard since then. He is just never here.. or here, but asleep and not awake. I go to bed alone. I get up alone. So this is depressing me.


Later I will dance.. maybe.
I just need to be gentle with myself and get better.

Going out now.. should be getting a bit of Reiki, which is energy healing, and that may help. Babysitter is here. Just getting out and having time along should help, too.

Hope you're doing well. Hugs!

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    2143 days ago
    Coming back from an illness is always hard. Be gentle with yourself.

    I understand the frustrations with you hubby. Mine works days but here of late they have been 16 hour days so very little family time, except on weekends when life is just rush rush rush. One on one time feels like I joke. So I do understand.

    I believe clothing stores thrift or otherwise should have a public bathroom too. Most of ours don't and it's terrible if you have a little one who can't always hold it.

    It'll get better Angel. emoticon
    2144 days ago
    You ARE doing well, Angel.
    2144 days ago
    Hang in there & be gentle with yourself. You are doing the best you can.
    2144 days ago
    *HUGS* I understand the schedule thing. My fiance used to work thirds and we'd spend time together in the morning when he'd get off work. Then he started a new job and worked firsts and he had a "normal" schedule. But he was the most grouchy person when he was home. :( All he'd do is plug in his headphones because he needed to "unwind" and our son being in his face constantly wasn't allowing that to happen. Now he works a late seconds. He gets up around 1, leaves at 3 and comes home around 1am. That is WAY after our bedtime. We leave notes for each other. It started out as pertinent only information. Things he needed to know about our goings on the next day, like he needing to set his alarm clock because we'd be out of the house. Fending for himself for lunch, etc. Then it became our conversation. Now we have a notebook that we put on the others desk. So if I miss him, I write in the notebook and put it on his keyboard. If he misses me, he does the same thing. It's really done a lot to bring us closer together. Where before we felt more like roommates and friends, we're growing closer as a couple. I hope it works for you as well. *HUGS*
    2144 days ago
  • KJACOBS1111
    You might get a little notebook and write each other notes and trade the book back and forth, write about everyday stuff and write nice things :)
    2144 days ago
  • KRYSTL719
    I have days like this, and we dont always have to figure out why they are like this, it can be many things including lack of vitamins or water even, or just natural hormosnes, its normal, besides you already know half of whats bothering you. Nobody wants a non-communicative relationship while your already dealing with stressful days... just hang in there and wait for it to get better, things always change..

    Best of LUCK~ emoticon
    2144 days ago
    Things seem so much worse when you are tired or still feel under the weather. I occasionally get a day like that. Want to eat but can't figure out why. Feel like I have "cheated" when I haven't because I thought about it so much.

    Sounds like your hubby situation is depressing you to me. I don't know how long you have been married. I have been married for 41 years. There are many ups and downs. A lot of times one person has to try harder than the other and sometimes you have to be the adult and give in which doesn't seem fair. But, remember that if this marriage doesn't work out another would have a new set of problems. I wish you luck.

    2144 days ago
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Hope your mood lifts soon :)
    2144 days ago
  • KITT52
    dwell on the positive and forget the rest, you are doing great
    2144 days ago
    Sounds like you are dong a great job on losing your weight. The inches are coming off.
    2144 days ago
    Thanks for sharing
    2144 days ago
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