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    BEACHNPEACH   715
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5/7

Monday, May 07, 2012

Starting this...about to dig back into a coupla more hours of study and practice for school. Late class tonight. I know this part would be harder than Theory..but damn!

Had one of my days yesterday...I ate well and did a good bit around the house and with my school work....but last night...after eating a tasty and filling dinner...I had the same crap as usually happens....I WAS SO HUNGRY....like couldn't go to sleep hungry.....like distracting to the point that I was pacing hungry....finally gave in and ate a box of Special K cracker chips....and guess what....yep, that's right...this morning I woke up so hungry I had hiccups until after my first cup of coffee. WTH?!?!

That is my biggest hurdle with weight loss....I am SO DAMN HUNGRY all the time....even when I eat and am pleasantly to uncomfortably full...you can bet I am gonna start having hunger pangs shortly after....I was very sick earlier this year...I felt like crap....fever, nausea, aches...not flu...just ill....the best thing about it was that I wasn't hungry 24/7/365. It was a relief, actually.

I just ate lunch....big, bulky salad with a good bit of protein and huge glass of cold water....and yep...you guessed it...already starting to get the rumblies in my tumbly and the hollow feeling at the back of my throat....and I have HOURS of school work to do...

Being active only helps for a short while during the activity...and even then I will get so hungry that it's distracting....and on days that I do heavy housecleaning, or yard work, I am ravenous for the rest of the day....yet, when I was working (10 hr shifts overnight retail/stock, maintenance, going to the beach (10-15 min walk each way),and doing 45-90 Wii Fit/Sports 3-4 times a week....I lost weight, but only because I never had time to eat big....and stayed so hungry and cranky no one wanted to be around me....that's no way to live, either.

Doctors tell me that problem is in my head....as in I need a shrink...Shrinks tell me that they think I need medical assistance....I can only take appetite suppressants for a coupla days at a time and then they give me such a headache that I have to lay off for a few days....and they don't always work....sometimes I feel no change in hunger level at all....the bitch of it really is....I have packed on so much weight in such a short amount of time, my already "LIttle Mermaid" feet hurt so bad....exercise is hard...I mean hard, to endure and I have a high tolerance for pain....don't know any other way except to just keep plugging away....yay me.

Off to work on school stuff....yippee! Sooner I finish school, the sooner I go back to work, the sooner I can have a life again.
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