Monday, May 07, 2012
This week has been pretty amazing. It started out badly. I was feeling really down after my failed second 20-mile run, and the first couple days were rough. I was full of self-doubt and convinced that I was completely stupid for ever thinking I could run a marathon. Not productive with only a month before the race.
The reason this week has been so amazing is that when I was at my lowest I found a lot of really great support from my friends. So many people have told me that I can do it. I got a really sweet e-mail from a fellow runner who told me to just be proud that I chose to run, which made my worrying about how slow I am seem pointless. Then I had a great talk with my trainer, which I blogged about earlier. Having someone tell me to stop sabotaging all my hard work was exactly what I needed to get out of my head and refocus.
Further awesomeness came on Friday when I taught a Zumba class for a local high school's Wellness Day. I was nervous. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I decided to go into it with confidence. It ended up being the best class I've taught. I had over 15 kids in my class, and their energy was fantastic. Several of them kept saying they loved the songs, and they were laughing. I felt great and confident, and it was the best I'd ever felt as an instructor.
I did 2 back-to-back classes that day even though I was sick. It made me nervous for Saturday's run. I had decided that I had to do at least 20 miles but wanted to leave myself the option to do 22 miles if I felt good. My husband drove me 22 miles from our house and gave me the best advice I'd gotten all week. He told me to relax and enjoy it.
So, I did. The weather was perfect. Mid-fifties, sunny, with a light wind. I really felt great as I ran. I didn't go fast. If I felt myself getting out of control and stressing about speeding up, I reminded myself to relax and enjoy it. I thought about all the support I had and kept my thoughts positive. It made a huge difference. I didn't get achy until around mile 18 - farther than I got in my last attempt at 20 miles. I walked a couple times, but I managed to run the last mile and a half. It felt pretty good. I was sore and tired, but I felt confident that I could finish the marathon.
I am still a little concerned about my time. There is a 6 hour cut off, and it took me 5:45 to do 22 miles. I may not make the cutoff, which means I won't be listed in the paper. I'm okay with that. I will know I finished and so will everyone I know. It will give me something to beat the next time I attempt this - I've said I won't do it again, but I know me, I'll try it again in a couple years. I'm also hoping that the adrenaline rush, the crowds, and the excitement will make me run a little faster. :)
I'm really getting excited about this. One more 22 mile run, a 10 mile run, and then Marathon!!