Sunday, May 06, 2012
Wow, it's May already and all my good intentions in January have fallen by the way side. This seems to be my way of doing things. Start out with a bang for a couple of weeks and then give up. These past 3 months I have been soul searching as to why I do this. The answer I came up with wasn't very flattering. What I figured out was, when the going gets rough, Marlene starts running. I give up! Why do I run? I run or give up because failure is not an option to me. I've grown up rationalizing to myself if I don't try I can't fail. That is the biggest failure of all. How sad for me to have let the fear of failure rule my life. Because of things that happened in my childhood, l got my validation by sticking to do the things I new I was good at. I didn't expand my horizons. I just did not believe in myself or my ability to achieve things that acquired a lot of work. I grew up with the words my father used to say teasingly to me, you can't to that, you are a Rose, Roses don't win anything. Well that became my mantra. So I learned not to try. My biggest set back in getting started or staying with it is giving up before I even start. I just don't want to do what I have to do to take to get my weight off. It's going to be hard, it's going to be time consuming, and it's going to have it's ups and downs, but it will be worth it. It's time for me to spread my wings and explore new things and to realize that yes I can do whatever I set my mind to. I can be a winner, no I am winner!. It's time to replace my old mantra with a new one. My new mantra is " YES I CAN and YES I WILL!"