Sunday, May 06, 2012
I have woken up!!! not superficially but in a more deep sense. i have gone through a rough couple of years and the core problem, sounds rather hippy, but I forgot who i was. I listened to others, try to be others and finally when that didn't work i gave up! didn't see the point of things was waiting for someone else to come along and show me the way, begging god for a tutor or someone to guide me. Actually the whole time the only person i needed was me!
All I want is to reach my potential and be the person I am. Who is that? I hear you all ask. Confident, elegant, together, focussed and happy. Nope didn't mention a weight in there did i? didn't say I want to be .... stone yes I want to loose weight but there is more. it is a package. another realisation is how much stress I have put myself under of late, I mean a medical degree plus additional projects! and not only has it shown mentally but physically. Stress hormones etc have affected weight, complexion and my smile- i forgot how to! plus clothes have looked tired and hair well scary!
Little nervous that the feeling will pass, but i don't want it to. Only kicking myself that I have missed out on nearly 2 years of my life like this!!! trying not to dwell on that and look to the future. I beg anyone else walking around in a life coma, look for the root cause and you will wake up!