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    BETHIEBOOPS   11,048
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints

A more urgent goal

Sunday, May 06, 2012

Yesterday, I managed to get to bed by 10. Hubby was still awake and watching TV, so I folded laundry, read, wrote my To-Do list, meditated and did all those little things that I always forget to do. It was so nice that I have decided that I NEED to do it. When I woke up this morning, I could hop out of bed because I knew there was a plan for the day.

I am a super perfectionist (like you couldn't tell!) and won't do something unless I am going TO BE THE BEST at it. I do this obsessively, compulsively and constantly. Apparently it's my quirks that make me interesting. Kidding.

Perfectionism is a strange thing isn't it? I suppose it links to control for me. I need to have control of certain areas - especially if other areas are giving me trouble. Food is a level of control. Eating until my belly ached was me expressing control. Denying myself seconds is also an exercise in control.

This week, I can control the things that I feel "out of control" in. I can destress at the end of the day and combat this anxiousness. I can work harder to combat the feeling that I don't have enough time to make my body healthy. I can take back control.

Maybe it's because 130 pounds is such a far way away. In fact, I can't remember being under 200 pounds since I was 13/14/15 (??), so my own goal rewards stop at this mark because I am honestly not sure who I will be when I stare down at 199 on the scale. I need a short term urgent goal that I can see, feel and visualise.

My next Doctor appointment is in August. I would like to be out of the "obese" BMI by then. This would put me at 213 lbs which is less than my wedding weight and at my "half way" weight loss goal. I would be able to double up my checks for both my PCOS and weight loss health check. Being out of the obese category puts me in the "ok" to have a healthy pregnancy should we decide to move down that road.

But I need to get serious about this if it's going to happen. So here's what I am going to do.

1. 30 Day Shred Morning Workout. I am in control of my mornings and I will spend them working out. This week I will begin by waking up earlier, and getting my groove on at 5 am. I am going to do the Shred for 30 days, with one work out a day. I am going to take measurements, and eat more to give myself the fuel I need. This DVD kicks my snooty behind everytime I do it. I'll give myself a couple days to get used to less sleep, and start rocking it sometime this week.

2. Take my medication every day. Twice a day. At the proper times.

3. Track food carefully - eating more than 1200 calories a day. I have a hard time eating normally right now, but I lose when I eat -so eat I shall.

I'm sure this makes me sound like a horrible person. I assure you, I am not. Just driven. Motivated. Seriously ready to kick some ass (more specifically my own).

Let's do it!

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
KAESEA78 5/13/2012 5:22AM

    2 things:

The person I quoted is WITTYAMBER- Thanks, love it


My goal meter pic is up. I changed to my profile pic for now.

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KAESEA78 5/13/2012 4:44AM

    Good Luck! I actually have that same problem with feeling like my goal is so far away. I have thought many times, oh a year is so far away to wait for the weight to come off. Then, a year later, I look back and realize I just wasted another year being fat. So, I broke mine down in to 10 pound goals. I made these little goal meter things. I actually was just in the middle of trying to post a pic. Check out my page in a bit and it should be there. They might be a little juvenile but I love them!! And then, I was reading another persons spark page and they summed up my above feelings in basically one sentence. I wrote itdown on an index card and then later wrote it on my mirror where I will see it everyday. It said "A year from now, you may wish you had started today." I will have to go back and see who it was but I found it so fitting for me in terms of the thought process I have had over and over.

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BERKCHIK 5/12/2012 4:51PM

    How's the ass-kickin' going? :)

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BETHIEBOOPS 5/12/2012 4:11AM

    You guys are totally right about the sleep. I'm having trouble fitting everything into 24 hours so I usually cut sleep to fit it all in. But you are right, I can't do this long term if I'm not rested. I'm going to have to make a new plan somewhere...

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    I second the comment about sleep! It's super important to get enough sleep, so I would highly recommend going to bed a bit earlier to compensate for the lost sleep (unless you're already getting enough even with the earlier wake up time).

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CRAFTY_LOSER 5/6/2012 6:25PM

    One piece of advice I have to give you is about your meds. If you have a hard time remembering, set an alarm on your phone for a certain time each day. I do this with my birth control and I rarely miss taking it! If I didn't have this alarm set on my phone I'd probably forget.

Also, don't make your body get use to less sleep (unless you're overdoing it with how much you get now). Just go to bed earlier. This is something I need to work on as well. I get up at 5:15 during the week days so I can get in 40 minutes of cardio. And I almost always end up not getting to bed 'til after 10 (sometimes 11 or after) when I should really be heading to bed at 9 or 9:30.

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LIBELULITA 5/6/2012 4:45PM

    My weight loss has been all about control. There are so many things in my life that I have no control over at the moment but I CAN control what I put in my mouth and I needed to take control over my health problems by eating differently too. You'll need that drive and determination to get to to where you want to be...and 130 pounds isn't so very far away. I've done 105 in 8 months....and it seems like only yestaerday. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EVER-HOPEFUL 5/6/2012 4:10PM

    and you will need all that to reach your can do this love emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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BESCAIFE 5/6/2012 1:56PM

    I understand the control aspect. With so many things out of my control, I'm happy that I can dictate how things go with my eating and exercise. Good luck with sticking to your new routine. I should try to get up early to workout, too...

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