It has been a while… not sure why, well I do know:
Fear of stepping out onto the road again.
Fear that I am alone in this journey.
Fear that the path will lead to another disastrous relationship.
Fear that I will fail again.
Fear that I will succeed, then what?
Fear that I will face more disapproval from those closest at hand.
Fear and stress are very crippling for together they vanquish any spark of motivational self confidence.
“We are all afraid, but to let that fear drive us is madness”
~paraphrase of Boromir’s words to Frodo when he tried to take the ring
It began, as always, with someone trying to force me into a mold I do not fit. . Why I ever let myself get close enough to the mold to be forced may be the first step in never being in that position again. I need to foster the self confidence to know my own mind, recognize my path and stay the course, despite the temptation of false pretty words and actions of others. I must not let the fear of disapproval from anyone steer my course.
It seems to have been so my either life. Open minded with a live and let live conservative attitude tends to foster manipulation. (Sounds excusive) I was never twiggy thin; yet looking back I was not overweight. I could have been in better shape; yet physical activity was not encouraged.
If a study were to be done I feel fairly confident a lot of the obesity in first and second generations off the farm would be attributed to a lack of physical activity. Working up a sweat was what you did when you went to the fields or dealt with the livestock. Those activities no longer being necessary it was time to rest on our laurels as our girths grew. After all eating overly well and watching TV were our just rewards to gaining the “good” life.
How sad, they (we) were so terribly wrong. Our eating ways have given us an abundance of calories that our sitting and watching are not burning; thereby, storing what our bodies cannot use. The more we store the less efficient our bodies become. That is the physical side.
On the flip side is the mental degradation. Our mental abilities are being stolen by all the sitting and watching as other people’s creativity mesmerizes us into an illogical stupor. To plans one’s life around what is coming on the TV at such and such an hour of the day it totally irrational. Yet so many, myself at times include do this. That is not to say the sharing of ideals using today’s advance technologies is wrong. Rather to sit stationary for hours focused on “entertainment” is slowly but surely killing us.
I digress with excuses.
(It is one of the great injustices of American society, how we sit by and slowly degrade the quality of our lives with quick fixes that do more harm than good.)

The past cannot be changed, and though we learn from the error of our ways, some lessons obviously bear repeating. Knowing my own mind and following my own course is the one I must adhere to in order to become healthy in mind, spirit and body.
“Be a first rate version of yourself, not a second rate version of someone else”
~Judy Garland
I have to be me. In order to be me, I must free myself from the cage of doing what others’ think I must or should do to be accepted by their standards. I have to know my own mind and desires, being true to my values. I broke this cage once before. It is time to be rid of it once and for all!

The first steps are always the hardest…
1. Create and adhere to a budget
a. Eliminate financial stress by planning and playing within our means
2. Healthy eating takes a conscious effort
a. Shop wisely
b. Plan meals before shopping using what is on hand and on sale
i. Plan menus on Tuesdays
ii. Clean out refrigerator
iii. Shop sales on Wednesday
c. Eat fresh
d. Stop over stocking processed foods
3. Exercise takes a comment to self
a. Plan activities
i. Week (Monday – Friday)
1. Mornings – walk, hand weights, crunches, stretches
2. Lunch time – walk to gym, M&Th Swim, T&F Walk(run)/weight room, W Walk(run)
3. Evening – occasional easy walks
ii. Weekends
1. Saturday – rest
2. Sunday – Early long walk/run
b. Be firm in keeping to the plan
c. Mix it up
d. Have a goal – a destination
i. Plan for 5Ks or weekend hikes
ii. Half marathon in November
iii. Marathon before turning 55
4. De-clutter the physical surrounding (home/yard/office)
a. If we don’t use it haven’t used it in over a year toss it/donate it (this especially includes items that are being stored in my home)
i. Do 15 minutes a day or determine and area to clear and do it
b. Organize for ease of access and cleaning
c. Create a Spiritual place (or places) to go to daily
5. Exercise my mind and creativity
a. Organize craft supplies and projects
b. Organize reading materials and time
c. Plan for monthly family adventures of our choosing
d. Go to my Spiritual place daily
e. Write my thoughts, daily goals, daily accomplishments in a written journal
f. Do a weekly virtual update
g. Create balance
h. Be firm yet flexible, where flexible does not mean not doing for days on end
Above all else planning does not make it happen!

It is time to put plans into actions…
So it begins:
1. This week’s menu planned, to be revisited on Tuesday
2. Exercise planned (weights and clothes to be lain out with cleaning)
3. Cleaning – general overall after walk
4. Weed the walk way and flower beds on either side
5. Clean off the porch to the front door