A Mark

Saturday, May 05, 2012

Today has left a mark with my scale. Last fall, I was desperate and discouraged because my scale would teeter between 248, 250, 252...that was so hard for me, and I felt angry at myself for allowing this to happen. But today, my scale is 230.4 for me this is a victory, because I have shed 20 pounds since the beginning of January. I am making "ME" and my health a priority, and seeing the scale go down, really feels good.

I had set a goal of 181 by my birthday in August, and I see that my goal is now unrealistic, at the time it was set, it wasn't but my weight loss started gradual and very slow. In the past three weeks, I have been following the Carb Cycling Solution diet by Chris Powell, and I have lost 7 pounds. I haven't been able to incorporate his entire diet plan into my schedule, but I am following the plan the best I can, and the results are showing. I am loosing weight, and I am happy to say that I am now 20 pounds smaller than I was when 2012 began!!!! Small steps toward a big victory.

The motivation and committment for me has come through being an active member of SparkPeople and joining teams and competitions. I feel a need to keep going even when I have been so discouraged I wanted to quit. The feeling like I was a part of a team, and I wanted to help my team has kept me trying and starting again after every failure I have felt. If it wasn't for having the committment to this group, I might not have started over every time I felt defeated...but now....20 pounds are gone.... emoticon

My body is sore this morning...why? because I work out!!!! emoticon and I love that feeling. My living room is a half living room and half gym, because I have found for me, this is where I will exercise. I have gotten past not being comfortable exercising infront of my family, and now my little one, jumps on the exercise bike and rowing machine all the time. She doesn't actually "exercise" but she isn't sitting on the couch like a couch potato anymore either, and she is doing something. I let her go at it, because someday she might want to be a little active, and I am not going to discourage her...I want her to feel like it is fun, and when she pulls on the bars of the rowing machine, she struggles, and she feels like she is strong when she does it!!!! and that makes me happy!!!

My sister is an inspriation to me...I am so proud of her. She has been working at her plan longer than I have, and she is doing amazing!!!! Seeing her continued success also drives me to keep going. If she can do it...then I can too!!!

My mom is another inspiration, she has lost her weight and is now 13 pounds from her goal weight. She has also encouraged two of my aunts to get healthy, and I think one of them have already reached their goal...they work together at their plan. My mom and I go to zumba together each week, and it is a lot of fun exercising with her!!!

Now my husband is getting on board. We have bikes to go bike riding, we have hiked up a trail and we are planning "dates" with activity!!!!

I have to say, that when things are tough, I have to give myself a lot of "self talk". I have to tell myself, I am worth it, I can do it. I will be happier and feel better once I exercise. That cheating isnt worth it. I even encourage myself to exercise while watching my shows....which helps too....

I am proud to see the results on my journey, and have to let go of the frustration of being at this weight again in the first place. I am looking forward to losing the next 30 pounds and being free of the 200 range. I want to be healthy and fit and see where my life will take me.....

Today feels like a marker in my weight loss timeline...seeing 20 pounds gone feels good!!!
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