Saturday, May 05, 2012
So I met this really great guy like 3-4 weeks ago. We met in person and seemed t really hit it off. Or so I thought. We had both talked about how we werent going to jump in to anything all super serious, which worked for me because I seem to have the worst luck with relationships anyways. So then after not talking for a few days I try and contact the person and there is this really weird awkwardness, even in the way he texted...only to find out that he "meant to call" and tell me that he was 'thinking' of relocating for work. Maybe I am reading way too much into this, but that kind of sounds like a line. Im sure its not because he is honestly a very very sweet guy, but after years and years of hearing lines from guys it all kind of blends together. So here I sit totally having a damn pity party and doing the full fledged stinkin' thinkin'. I wonder to myself, does stuff like this keep happening to me because of how I look? I know that is a lame thing to think, but then I become even more down and think 'oh god! maybe its just me!!! maybe I have some crummy character flaw!' I know that its just the bad news thats making me all emotional and bitter, and that after a good nights sleep I will be so much better. All I know is that I need to focus because when I get super emotional I tend to eat.....and not stop. Its like I have to punish myself for being fat and unloved by becoming more fat! I know! Ridiculous right?!?! I do have to say that venting does tend to help.