30,000-39,999 SparkPoints 38,100

More mental Challenges to Overcome

Friday, May 04, 2012

I finally really looked at my weight on the scale today. What a sad moment in time that was. I’ve been watching it slowly creep up, but this morning it officially hit me. Wow. I knew that I’d been eating poorly. It’s no surprise. I was constantly in a rush, constantly stressed, constantly not in the mood to think about what I was eating, and I wasn’t exercising enough. With all the being said, going up about 7 lbs since January isn’t the worst I might have expected, but it’s more than enough for me. I know and have known that something needs to be done. I have gotten off the really terrible sugars and carbs. I’m no longer craving chocolate (I still want it, but don’t crave it) and I’m not dying for a big old loaf of fresh bread (still love it, but not craving it).

I’ve done the 1st hard part. Now onto the 2nd – portions. I have no portion control at all. Even last night, I tracked everything that I wanted to eat and was looking good. Then I grabbed my 9” plate and didn’t even fill it all the way with the whole wheat pasta, some sauce, and a couple of meatballs. Good enough. Then I went back for more. What? Why? I enjoyed the taste. I knew better. I asked myself why I was doing that. Still did it. I didn’t need it. I wasn’t starving. I just wanted it. I didn’t finish the 2nd helping because I was feeling very guilty. That’s something, right? No. Too little too late.

I would love to hit up NutriSystems for about a month. That has always been a good way for me to lose but it’s not as easy when trying to feed BF too. Even though I’m sure he can handle himself, it gets expensive eating 2 different ways like that. NutriSystems is good for portion control for me. Small meals and no thinking or preparation required. Maybe I’ll discuss that with him. I’d really like to get back on track.

It seems like at this point in my healthy lifestyle, it shouldn’t be so hard. I should just know what to do. Not fall into old bad habits again. Why is this? Why is it that mentally I’m having a hard time getting around this? And why do I constantly feel hungry? It’s not just in my head. My stomach growls. I have set up the appropriate amount of calories in my tracker based on my lifestyle, so what’s the deal? Yes, I’m aiming for high fiber and protein rich foods to keep me fuller longer. Is it maybe possible that it’s in my head still? I guess maybe. Anything is possible. Oh, what’s a girl to do?

This was my skating show March 30th. I’m 3rd in from the left. I feel like in these pictures, I look like I belong in the group.

To show off some of our humor, this is my with my dummy skater. Guess I wasn’t qualified for a “real” man.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Funny picture with the dummy!

    I have similar challenges with hunger. I know a few practical actions that help me, like first drinking my glass of water, eat non sweet snacks (they don't promote eating more), start with the low cal part of my meal, and so on. I made a long list. If I use 3-4 of them, usually it helps a great deal.

    However, somehow the bread part is completely gone. I started to experiment with all other types of things, Wasa, puffed rice, brown bread, that the white bread is not even attractive anymore. I noticed I need to eat 10-12 times something, until I start to get into the enjoyment mood, instead of discovery.
    2149 days ago
    Sorry that you felt guilty, however good for you for not finishing the seconds.Thank you for sharing the pictures you are beautiful, I would love to get back into skating again.
    2150 days ago
    Portion control is definitely my problem as is going back for seconds. I think I do better at a restaurant because it's just the one plate.
    Great picture!!
    2150 days ago
    I didn’t finish the 2nd helping because I was feeling very guilty. That’s something, right? No. Too little too late.

    You are wrong. That IS something. Yes, it would have been BETTER if you didn't have the second helping at all, or if the guilt would have kicked in before you started in on serving #2, but not finishing it because you felt guilty is WAY THE HELL BETTER than going "Oh well, I already started eating this second helping so I may as well finish it." (This is, far too often, what I myself do.)

    So you ARE making progress and improvements. Give yourself props for the good things you do. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, learn from them, congratulate yourself for small successes, and move on. When I'm about to reach for that cookie, I have a friend I text and she strengthens that voice in my head that says "HELL NO, you neither need nor want that nasty cookie. PUT THE COOKIE DOWN." and that helps me. Maybe your BF could be that voice for you - when you go back for seconds get him to say "Go fill out your food journal before you eat that. Are you actually hungry, or do you just want to eat that because it tastes good?"

    P.S. You look awesome in your photos. :)
    2150 days ago
  • MINDY502
    thanks for sharing the pics you look great by the way! I know how you feel I have been fighting the same battle you have lately too and questioning myself why I am doing the things I do. It all boils down to self control for me. You can do this same as me we just have to get our heads on straight and figure out what is more important. Hang in there hope you have a great weekend!!
    2150 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.