Friday, May 04, 2012
I finally really looked at my weight on the scale today. What a sad moment in time that was. Iíve been watching it slowly creep up, but this morning it officially hit me. Wow. I knew that Iíd been eating poorly. Itís no surprise. I was constantly in a rush, constantly stressed, constantly not in the mood to think about what I was eating, and I wasnít exercising enough. With all the being said, going up about 7 lbs since January isnít the worst I might have expected, but itís more than enough for me. I know and have known that something needs to be done. I have gotten off the really terrible sugars and carbs. Iím no longer craving chocolate (I still want it, but donít crave it) and Iím not dying for a big old loaf of fresh bread (still love it, but not craving it).
Iíve done the 1st hard part. Now onto the 2nd Ė portions. I have no portion control at all. Even last night, I tracked everything that I wanted to eat and was looking good. Then I grabbed my 9Ē plate and didnít even fill it all the way with the whole wheat pasta, some sauce, and a couple of meatballs. Good enough. Then I went back for more. What? Why? I enjoyed the taste. I knew better. I asked myself why I was doing that. Still did it. I didnít need it. I wasnít starving. I just wanted it. I didnít finish the 2nd helping because I was feeling very guilty. Thatís something, right? No. Too little too late.
I would love to hit up NutriSystems for about a month. That has always been a good way for me to lose but itís not as easy when trying to feed BF too. Even though Iím sure he can handle himself, it gets expensive eating 2 different ways like that. NutriSystems is good for portion control for me. Small meals and no thinking or preparation required. Maybe Iíll discuss that with him. Iíd really like to get back on track.
It seems like at this point in my healthy lifestyle, it shouldnít be so hard. I should just know what to do. Not fall into old bad habits again. Why is this? Why is it that mentally Iím having a hard time getting around this? And why do I constantly feel hungry? Itís not just in my head. My stomach growls. I have set up the appropriate amount of calories in my tracker based on my lifestyle, so whatís the deal? Yes, Iím aiming for high fiber and protein rich foods to keep me fuller longer. Is it maybe possible that itís in my head still? I guess maybe. Anything is possible. Oh, whatís a girl to do?
This was my skating show March 30th. Iím 3rd in from the left. I feel like in these pictures, I look like I belong in the group.
To show off some of our humor, this is my with my dummy skater. Guess I wasnít qualified for a ďrealĒ man.