So, here I am yet again. Sometimes I think I like the drama of failing! I seem to let myself do it way too often.
BUT. I am back, and I will do my best yet again. I hope these blogs begin to resonate wtih me...they are somewhat therapeutic but I fear I am on a teeter totter.
My last REAL work out was on Thanksgiving Day. I remember going to the gym and getting a good run in and I felt prepared to handle any food situation that came my way. Boy was I wrong. What I didn't know was that Thanksgiving Day would mark the beginning of a downward spiral for me. This particular downward spiral has lasted about 5 months during which time I gained back about 12 pounds.
12 pounds that I cried for, sweat for, said no for so many times prior to Thanksgiving. If that doesn't make you feel defeated ....
What will be different this time? I honeslty do not know. I do know that I will not push myself so hard like I did last time. I was working out 6-7 days a week, but come on, let's be realistic here. YES I want to lose weight fast! BUT, I also want it to stay gone. I am a fulltime student , wife and mother and I have to accept that somedays just won't work for gym time. Instead of beating myself up over this, I need to realize that I should take what I can get for gym days and make the most of them-right?
I know that some will make comments like, "Get up earlier", "make time", etc....well let me just break down a typical day for you:
4am- wake up, get ready for work
5am- commute begins
6am- work is well under way
12 -noon- lunch time!
4:30-5pm- work is done for the day- back on the road
6pm- Get home, make dinner
7pm- Spend time with my kids, clean up messes, do laundry, get everyone cleaned up, read stories, do tuck ins and say good night to my kids.
9pm- time to try to do my homework
11pm or 12 am- time to try and get some sleep! (yes I only get 4-5 hours of sleep M-F)
This isn't exaggerated at all...this is my typical Monday through Friday. Kinda sucks :)
So, new goals. I have to figure out how to make losing weight and getting healthy manageable in my schedule. Does anyone have advice or ideas?
I only have about one year left and my schooling will be complete ( finally!!) Until then I do have homework (I am also taking summer courses), I do have three lovely children and a husband (who works second shift, so I kind of feel like a single parent) and I have a full time job that I am at about 50 hours a week or more. Oh how I wish we had family near to help!!
How can I stop doing the teeter totter and get healthy once and for all??